Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Band On The Rise


SO IT'S 7:00 SUNDAY NIGHT
, an hour before doors open at Bowery Ballroom for the Airborne Toxic Event show, and the 2 Johns, Steve and me are walking down a side street off Delancey, heading to a Spring Street bar working on a spliff when who should we run into but Mikel, lead singer of the a-4-mentioned, and in true New York rapid-fire fashion the 4 of us start peppering the poor guy with questions and comments -- asking him which other Don DeLillo books has he read (Airborne Toxic Event being named for his novel "White Noise"), offering him a hit (for the record, he just said no), and telling him how his band blew the Fratelli's off the stage at Roseland Ballroom when they opened for them back in September. It wouldn't be that great an exaggeration to say that there's been a nightly Toxic Event sighting since then, with a relentless, almost show-a-night pace the rule more than the exception; according to their MySpace page, they're in the midst of a busy 25-shows-in-29-days stretch that takes them to Europe at the end of March. Add in the fact that we knew ATE had to cancel a few recent shows because of Mikel's bout with laryngitis, and we decided to cut off the conversation after 5 lively minutes, not wanting to put a strain on his voice so close to the band taking the stage. Mikel came across as a regular guy who might've gone on talking with us indefinitely. But we took mercy on him, letting him go about his pre-show business while we in turn went on with ours.
After a quick beer and slice we hit the Ballroom, where the warmup act, the Henry Clay People, was just beginning its set. Pretty good blend of grunge and alt-country, Screaming Trees for a reference point, and we kept debating who Henry Clay was. I guessed Civil War figure, one of the Johns thought he might have been the Great Liberator, until we set him straight that Abe Lincoln kind of had that designation wrapped up. Turns out Clay was a U.S. Senator known as the "Great Compromiser" or "Great Pacifier" who had something to do with causing the War of 1812. The Henry Clay People, however, don't appear to rate a Wikipedia page, so for now I'm left wondering what the connection might be between band and statesman, or why they chose the curious name in the first place.

The next band to hit the stage, unfortunately, was not named Airborne Toxic Event but was instead what's known in the music business as the opening act. When we saw the name, Alberta Cross, we thought it might be a folk chick or all-girl band, but alas we were dismayed when they took the stage and, after tuning up for the better part of 15 minutes, launched into a set revealing a deep-seated Neil Young "jones" both musical (okay) and visual (not so much). The lead singer let loose an unbelievably high-pitched screech that made the a-4-mentioned Mr. Young sound like your local basso profundo. I'm talking only dogs might have heard some of the higher notes in the Alberta dude's register. They weren't terrible, but suffice to say, none of us are likely to be running out and buying Alberta Cross tickets any time soon. Once = enough.

Finally, at around 10, Airborne Toxic Event came onstage to thunderous applause. If anything, the band is even more confident than six months ago at Roseland, attacking the first song with gusto. Second song is Papillon, which opens with a ringing guitar riff that is answered like a clarion call by the rest of the instruments in a Strokes-like rush. The debut album is full of just such rousing, smart and literate stuff: either songs of love gone wrong, which is what all the songs are about really, or else an occasional paean to love which hasn't gone wrong yet, the stuff of thousands of stellar pop songs written through the decades, and with songs like Papillon this ATE are poised to join the legions of terrific rock bands who have composed them.

There's not a whole lot of banter or tuning up or other lulls between songs, just a cryptic line or two, such as "What happened is we wrote a bunch of songs and we're gonna play 'em here for you tonight, I think we're gonna have a good time." It's partly that no-frills, no-pretense approach that accounts for the steadily growing buzz this band is generating based on a handful of solid songs off their one album.

The one new song, introduced as never having been played live in New York, bodes well for the band if it's part of a new album, because to me it was the best thing they did all night. ATE on this Sunday night seemed to start out strong but then started to noticeably flag a little halfway through the set. Maybe the recent stretch of shows caught up with them or the jet lag kicked in, but the crew seemed to be in agreement that their energy level was a little off on the night. In my opinion, they played too many similarly paced, slower songs toward the end, where the violin player seemed to dominate the overly orchestral arrangements. I mean, one song where the bass player uses a bow on his guitar a la Jimmy Page is cool and novel, but 2 and 3 in a row where this happens and we're straying into Yanni territory here, folks. But that's about my only complaint, or would be if I didn't bring up the disturbing trend of 20-somethings who refuse to shut the hell up even when the band hits the stage, chattering away cluelessly song after song while the band we all paid good money to see is playing their fucking set. But I did bring it up, and now I guess we can move on.

Overall, for a mere $13 ticket price, it was a good rock & roll night in the Big City, with old friends and new music proving a good combo. And just like old times there was a McBurney alumni sighting, which, given the size of the school, the size of the crowd and the fact that McB hasn't existed at all in any form for over 20 years,
is truly an event worth noting. Consider it done.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Doors Open @ 8








IN HONOR OF tonight's sold-out-for-weeks Airborne Toxic Event show at Bowery Ballroom, thought it might be fun -- with fun being a relative term -- to list the many shows I've been to, all the great live music I've witnessed, with almost four decades of concert-going under my belt.

Memory being what it is, or isn't, I've started with the saved ticket stubs, then polled the outer precincts of Remembrance for the rest.

Syd Straw
Mercury Lounge/June 11, 1996

Buzzcocks
Irving Plaza/July 2, 1996 (brilliant show)

Jayhawks
Warsaw/April 10, 2003 (think this was an acoustic show)

The Fratellis/Airborne Toxic Event
Roseland Ballroom/September 5, 2008

Buzzcocks
Bowery Ballroom/December 1, 2000

Jayhawks/The Thorns
Irving Plaza/June 27, 2003

X
The Grand/November 27, 1993

The Specials
Irving Plaza/September 20, 1994

Violent Femmes/Pogues/Mojo Nixon
Reebok Riverstage/July 18, 1989

Johnny Thunders Tribute (Benefit for Johnny's kids)
The Marquee/June 19, 1991

Cracker
Irving Plaza/August 26, 1998

Fleshtones
Woody's/March 9, 1990

Golden Smog
December 5, 1998

The Clash
Bond International/May 29, 1981 (also went to one other Bond's show)

The Pretenders/The Necessaries (Chris Spedding)
Detroit's/March 21, 1980 (may have been Pretenders first U.S. show; $5 ticket price)

Guinness Fleadh (Elvis Costello, Richard Thompson, Lucinda Williams, etc.)
Randall's Island/June 26, 1999

Wilco
Irving Plaza/April 21, 1999 (nice birthday present)

Bob Dylan/Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Madison Square Garden/July 17, 1986 (terrible Garden sound system detracted from Bob's show; Petty was outstanding)

Son Volt
Irving Plaza/May 9, 1996 (one of top 4 or 5 concerts of all time for me)

The Clash/Undertones/Sam & Dave
The Palladium/September 20, 1979 (the night Paul Simenon smashed his bass guitar)

Luna/Clem Snide
Knitting Factory/February 3, 2001

Stiff Little Fingers
Village Underground/September 8, 2001
(Caught this show with Steve and his friend Gavin, who was attending his 60th SLF concert! Unfortunately, 3 days later he would perish in the 9/11 attacks)

Lucinda Williams
Irving Plaza/January 29, 1999 (the night my dad died)

Stiff Little Fingers
Tramps/May 16, 1999
THAT'S ABOUT IT for the documentation; the following shows I don't have ticket stubs for, just a faulty, leaky memory bank. In some cases I can't remember the year or even venue. Ironically, for the bands I know I've seen the most over the years, like The Ramones and Johnny Thunders, I can only seem to recall one or two shows at most. Memory is a fickle mistress.

The Clash/Kurtis Blow
Pier 43/1982

Aerosmith/Black Sabbath
Madison Square Garden/1973 (Aerosmith opened and actually blew them off the stage, as much as I'm loath to admit it even this many years later)

Lou Reed
Felt Forum/1974 (with Jimi the Greek, and plenty of vintage Reed stage banter)

Stills-Young Band (Stephen Stills & Neil Young)
Nassau Coliseum/1976?

Grateful Dead
Nassau Coliseum/1979

Robert Gordon
My Father's Place/1979 (with Chris Spedding, an unbelievably entertaining show)
Queens Festival/1986

Wreckless Eric
Hurrah/1979 (Whole Wide World lp given away free, wish I can say I still had my copy)

Steel Pulse
Irving Plaza/2000?

David Bromberg Band
Carnegie Hall (w. Ralph McTell/November 1978
Bottom Line 12th Anniversary concert/1992?

Hot Tuna
Beacon Theater/1977
Central Park/1975
Palladium/1978

Buzzcocks
The Ritz/1981

The Waterboys
Beacon Theater/1989

Iggy Pop
The Ritz/1981

Gang of 4
Rock Hotel?/1981

The Selecter
Rock Hotel/1982

Madness
The Ritz?/1981

Plasmatics
Heat/1980

Dead Boys
Heat/1980?

Richard Hell & the Voidoids
Mudd Club/1981

Luna
South Street Seaport/2003
World Trade Center/ August 2001

Graham Parker
Bottom Line/1994 (solo acoustic)
Tramps (w. the Figgs, Amy Rigby)/October 15, 1996

Ramones
Great Adventure/Summer 1980 (won 6 tickets from WNEW)
Zappas/Lamour/somewhere on Staten Island/elsewhere/1979...?

Wire
South Street Seaport/May 30, 2008

Power Pop Festival: Speedies/Neighborhoods/Baby Shakes, etc.
Southpaw/March 30, 2007

Wedding Present
Tramps?/1997?

Johnny Winter
Felt Forum/1975?

Chuck Berry/Sy Sylvain
Heat/1980 (a night, and dawn, for the ages)

The Neighborhoods
Hurrah/March 1979 (first punk show)

New Pornographers (w. Neko Case)
Warsaw/2000?

Lords of the New Church
Rock Lounge/1982?

Johnny Thunders
Max's Kansas City, elsewhere/1979-85

Marshall Tucker Band
Central Park/1975

Leslie West/James Gang
Central Park/1976

Black 47
Paddy Reilly's/early 1990s

Black Oak Arkansas
Great Gildersleeves/1979?

The Slits
Mercury Lounge/March 2008

Joe Jackson
Central Park/1980
Richard Lloyd
Uptown?/1981

David Peel
Max's Tavern/1978-79

Everclear/Spacehog
Garden Arts Center/1995

New Riders Purple Sage/Poco
Central Park/1976

Psychedelic Furs
The Ritz, somewhere else/1980

The dB's
The Ritz?

James White & the Blacks/DeFunkt
Hurrah/1980


Rockpile

The Ritz/1981

Son Volt
South Street Seaport/2004

Philip Glass Ensemble (Dracula)
Brooklyn Academy of Music/March 26, 2000

Mink DeVille
Peppermint Lounge/New Year's Eve 1985

Slade
Wollman Rink/1975

The Wanderers (Stiv Bators)
Mudd Club/1981

Jefferson Starship
Central Park/1975

Simon & Garfunkel
Central Park/1980

Dead Kennedys
Bonds/1981

See also:

The Clash
Johnny Thunders
Neil Young
Son Volt
Luna
The Jayhawks
Lords of the New Church
Speedies
Iggy Pop

Goings & Comings

Well, that didn't take long, did it? Fewer than 3 days after being handed his walking papers by Dallas, Terrell Owens will be shuffling off to Buffalo (couldn't resist), signing a one-year, $6.5 million contract with the Bills yesterday.

Around 20 NFL teams immediately issued clear denials of their interest as soon as the controversial wide receiver became available as a free agent. The Saints' and Redskins' statements in particular were stridently anti-T.O. It seemed like there was no market at all. I had the Colts as my dark horse, since they are a perennial Super Bowl candidate as long as Peyton Manning is under center and they were losing WR Marvin Harrison. But it was a non-contender, the Bills (7-9 last three seasons), who become Owens' 4th NFL employer, and the first American Conference team to take the tempting T.O. plunge. I'll have to ask Dan the one diehard Bills fan I know, how he feels about this move. (Note: Dan was against it.)

For his part, Owens promised "to be the same person he was the last three years with the Dallas Cowboys" as he takes his act from the glaring spotlight of America's Team to as close as you can get to the Canadian Football League. And T.O. has seemingly resigned himself to playing on a new stage, if not a new continent:
"I just have to create my own following up here in North America. I'm leaving America's Team to come to North America's team."
Owens will be playing in another country next year, as the Bills will play one "home game" next season in Toronto. Paired with WR Lee Evans and emerging RB Marshawn Lynch, the addition of T.O. gives Buffalo a decent array of offensive weapons, provided QB Trent Edwards can continue to improve this season. Just another interesting situation to monitor after the NFL's most fascinating offseason in recent or distant memory.
________________________________________________________
IT LOOKS LIKE Alex Rodriguez will have that hip surgery after all, but the Yankees doctors are opting for the arthroscopic surgery and hoping that his recovery will be in the 6- to 9-week range (2 to 5 weeks of the season); the more aggressive kind of surgery Mike Lowell and Chase Utley had for similar injuries requires a much longer recovery period and likely would have cost A-Rod most or all of the 2009 season.
Eventually, Rodriguez will need the more complete procedure, so why not do it now? It's a gamble that A-Rod doesn't reinjure the hip after he returns. Personally, as a Yankees fan who can't stand Rodriguez, I'd rather see him out the whole year; just the absence of bad karma would do wonders for the state of the Yankees.

One overlooked element to the whole A-Rod story is that this all but kills his chance of becoming the all-time home run king five or six years down the road. No matter how great an athlete a player is, he's just not coming back from this kind of major setback healthy enough to pick right up where he left off.

A-Rod has amassed 553 homers thr
ough 15 seasons, leaving him over 200 HRs short of Barry Bonds' mark of 762. A-Rod will be 34 years old during the season, not old but he's never had this kind of injury before. Get used to lovable Barry at the top of the heap, asterisk and all, because A-Rod was probably the last guy who had even a remote chance of breaking the record. Otherwise, you'd have to believe A-Rod has five more years of 40-plus HRs left in him. And that's just crazy talk, even coming from you.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Subtracting A Distraction

"Vanity keeps persons in favor with themselves who are out of favor with all others." - William Shakespeare

"I love me some me." - Terrell Owens

____________________________________________________
Whether it was due to excessive vanity, overweening pride or any other combination of tragic personal flaws, the 3-year Terrell Owens melodrama in Big D came to an end late last night, with the Dallas Cowboys biting the bullet and taking a massive salary cap hit of almost $10 million in the process.

On the field, Owens put together 3 seasons of 1,000+ yards and at least 10 touchdowns. He caught 235 passes for 3,587 yards and 38 TDs while at Dallas, but as usual with T.O., it's all the baggage that comes with the production. After last season's sideline outbursts and complaints about not getting the ball enough, this is a move that had to be done to save the chemistry of the Cowboys. Most Cowboy fans are in agreement that this is a positive day for the franchise given all that transpired last season: Owens is officially someone else's problem child now. Jones' comment last month that he was committed to making the team more "Romo-friendly" now reads like a clue in the thought process that led to the T.O. release.

The magnitude of this transaction is enough to drive sports talk radio for weeks and weeks, perhaps even displace the Alex Rodriguez-on-steroids monotony for a while. It's not only how the move affects Dallas, but all the speculation over which team takes the plunge and becomes Owens' fourth NFL employer after controversial stops in San Francisco, Philadelphia and Dallas. This story has more legs than a family of centipedes.

If T.O. is not picked up immediately, in the next 3 or 4 days, there could be a sizable delay before a team takes a chance on the 35-year-old receiver with Hall of Fame production but off-the-wall distraction, similar to what Manny Ramirez just went through in baseball. Training camp could very well begin without T.O. on a roster. Already one prominent Dallas sportswriter is on record saying Owens is finished, period. I seriously doubt it. But everything has to be just right in terms of QB situation, veteran leadership and sheer desperation for a front office to even consider acquiring the migraine-in-waiting that is Owens.

ESPN is already throwing out some names. How about Arizona, if they lose Anquan Boldin? The Vikings, who need playmakers? Maybe the Saints would take a chance? How about the Giants? If GM Jerry Reese is ready to welcome the felonious Plaxico Burress back with open arms, why not Owens? (After all, the Giants just signed two players who were accused of assaulting women.) Owens has never been a problem off the field, just a high maintenance handful everywhere else. But there just aren't a ton of places in the league for T.O. to land.
After Dallas pulled the trigger on the Roy Williams deal midseason, giving up a boatload of draft picks and signing him to a lucrative long-term deal in the process, there was not room for both of them. Add in the problems with TE Jason Witten, the offensive coordinator Jason Garrett, QB Tony Romo, and fans were waiting for this day since the season ended. If every disgruntled Cowboy fan sent Jerry Jones a dollar, I have a feeling he'd have more than enough bills to cover the $9.5 million cap hit.

Dallas should look to add another WR to the mix in the draft, then concentrate on becoming a run-first team. With a massive offensive line that is better run-blocking than pass-protecting, this makes sense. When you add in three top-notch RBs in Marion Barber, Felix Jones and Rashard Choice, plus two of the more versatile tight ends in the league in Witten and Martellus Bennett, a ball control offense that limits Romo's turnovers is the way to go. Also, ridding the team of Owens may have the same salutary effect on Romo as the Giants dumping Jeremy Shockey had on Eli Manning's development.

You would have to be on the various Cowboys websites and forums on almost a daily basis to get a feel for the intense, visceral hatred many fans have for Jerry Jones. Many wanted coach Wade Philips gone after the December collapse. But for better or worse Jones chose stability over headlines in that case. Firing the ineffective special teams coach, and then cutting ties with Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson and "Bad" Johnson were steps in the right direction. But it's releasing Terrell Owens that will go a long way toward restoring Jones in the good graces of the team's rabid followers.
_________________________________________________________________________
2:30pm Update:
The major facelift continues apace with news that the Cowboys have also released S Roy Williams this morning, saving themselves $2 million in salary cap for 2009. The 8th overall pick in the 2002 draft and one of the most feared defensive players in NCAA history while at Oklahoma, Williams' Cowboy career started off like he just might become the next great defensive force in the NFL. But after 3 strong seasons of terrorizing receivers who came into his terr
itory with a series of highlight reel bone-jarring hits, his play began to level off, with his coverage skills in particular consistently exploited by opposing offensive coordinators.

Williams' sudden downfall was vexing and perplexing to Cowboy fans, as if one day he was a dominating safety that had to be accounted for in every offensive game plan, the next day a scrub who had those same coordinators licking their lips in anticipation of facing him. Interesting to see where he ends up and at what price.
Ironically, word this morning that Alex Rodriguez may miss up to 10 weeks with a hip injury has overtaken the T.O. news as the day's main topic on sports talk radio stations, with callers wanting to talk A-Rod versus T.O. running about 5 to 1. This could be the best thing to happen to the Yankees. It eliminates the inevitable A-Rod circus at opposing ballparks, or at least delays it until he returns in May or perhaps even June, and allows the Yankees to forge somewhat of an underdog identity without the beleaguered superstar. Maybe him missing a substantial part of the season due to injury is just what the doctor ordered. Thus his biggest contribution to team chemistry, like T.O., may be in physically removing himself from the equation.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Monday, March 02, 2009

Friday, February 27, 2009

Freestyle Friday

Wake up the Kids and call your weird Aunt Phyllis, we'll have so much fun the neighbors will think it's weird! It's Freestyle Friday, so Koo Koo Kachoo to you! We got a guaranteed crowd pleaser on hand here today, step right up don't linger, there's something for everyone.

For the puerile rubbernecker in all of us, how about the "leering, dirty doctor" convicted yesterday in a $15 million case of serial sexual harassment while he worked at a Queens hospital. Matthew Miller hit on nurses, sales reps, interns, fellow doctors, patients, orderlies, janitors and even some cadavers and test tube specimens over his 27-year career:

Before nurse Janet Bianco stood up to him - risking her job at Flushing Hospital - Dr. Matthew Miller engaged in an almost constant and unchecked pattern of shameless sex talk and unwanted physical contact, she and other victims said in sworn statements. Miller's lecherous grasp extended from nurses at Flushing Hospital to female pharmaceutical sales reps sent to his private practice, his victims said.

Small world, or at least small borough of Queens, because it turns out I know 2 of his patients. They had heard rumors about Miller, but not specifics like:

Before he was stripped of his admitting privileges at Flushing Hospital in 2001, Miller earned a nickname from the nurses as a way to warn one another of his approach, Kmiotek said. "He had a handlebar mustache, so we would say, 'koo koo kachoo' after the Beatles song 'I Am the Walrus,'" she said.

Well, Bob and Holly, I hope your next doctor stays out of the news. One look at this creep and my first reaction was he got away cheap; the hospital is paying half the damages. You can't help thinking there should be a more fitting punishment for Dr. Touchy-Feely, one that involves him being stripped of his dignity on a daily basis, that is if he had any left. Somehow I don't think this is what old Hippocrates had in mind ("If I keep this oath faithfully, may I enjoy my life and practice my art, respected by all men and in all times, but if I swerve from it or violate it, may the reverse be my lot")...

...What's with all this Snuggie madness? In what's being hailed as the greatest technological development of the new century, some innovative sort -- not content with things as they are but embarked on a never-ending quest to improve the lot of his fellow Man -- decided it would be a great idea to put sleeves on a blanket, or make a blanket out of a robe, or something of the kind...

...Before you scoff and write the Snuggie off up as another Chia Pet, consider that over 4 million have been sold in just the last 3 months. Perhaps America can Snug its way out of the recession...

Saturday Night Live has lampooned it, local newscasts have tried to get to the bottom of it, a New York Daily News reporter put on a Snuggie and walked around in public with it, predictably drawing quizzical stares...

...For some weird reason the Snuggie has hit the national Funnybone, and we know how painful that can be, but how long before some jackass trips down the staircase in one of these things and files a class action lawsuit...
...Speaking of dumb marketing trends, the other day on Ditmars Boulevard I saw a new store opening in a location that had been boarded up for a while. Some workers were putting up the sign, and it was also one of those Signs of the Times that just brings me down: BEACH BUM TANNING. Just when I thought my faith in mankind in general and in Astoria specifically couldn't get any lower, along comes this ridiculous abomination. I give the place six months before something even dumber replaces it if the recent trend of Retail Store Displacement is any indication...

...Weirdest product warning I've seen in quite some from the box of the new glass tea kettle I bought: "Manufacturer and Distributor of this product will not be responsible or liable for any physical, mental or emotional damage from the misuse of this product. Please use this product wisely and according to its instructions." Mental or emotional damage?! I just want to boil water for my Irish Breakfast Tea in it, not have a meaningful long-term relationship with the damn thing...

...Following spring training baseball is like drinking non-alcoholic beer: what's the point...

...Remember how I found 2o bucks in late November? Well, I found another 20 last week, but didn't get to keep it! I'm walking along on my merry way, coming home from shopping, when I spot a nice clean 20 folded in half, so without missing a stride I scoop it up and it's literally halfway down my right front pants pocket when a woman comes rushing out of Cassinelli Pasta saying "It's mine!" What was I gonna do, argue with her? I knew right away she was telling the truth, so I handed it over and, after a few curses muttered under my breath when she was out of range, I went back on my way, perhaps a little less merry than before...

...Was checking the dollar books outside the Strand the other day, Ash Wednesday, and after about 5 or 6 minutes nothing caught my eye and I was about to move along when I saw a book called, ironically, Ash Wednesday, so I had to pick it up for a buck. It's from 2002, and it's the second novel by actor Ethan Hawke, who considers himself something of a renaissance man. Skimming over the first 20 pages, it's not bad at all, a little reminiscent of Richard Price's Ladies Man, and that's high praise coming from me. It's just that I'm in one of my cycles where I'm not into fiction, so I'll put Ash Wednesday on the back burner. Oh shit, my apartment doesn't have a back burner! Mind if I use yours?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

History Lo Mein



"But, now that we have embarked on this topic, we have had second thoughts about setting it down in writing; for after all it is very well known to many people. So let us drop the subject and start on another one."

Marco Polo: From Venice to Xanadu (2007, Laurence Bergreen)
Marco Polo: The Travels (Penguin, 1958 translation R.E. Latham)

Genghis Khan & the Mongol Conquests, 1190-1400 (Stephen Turnbull);
The Mongol Empire (Mary Hull)
Mongol: The Rise of Genghis Khan (2007 DVD, Sergie Bodrov)

1434: The Year a Magnificent Chinese Fleet Sailed to Italy and Ignited the Renaissance (2008, Gavin Menzies)

Chronicle of the Chinese Emperors
(2009, Ann Paludan)
________________________________________________________________
Some good history books to recommend, and one DVD, although as a caveat I will admit that my movie pick was given a big Thumbs Down by the two friends I mentioned it to. Anyway, perhaps my enthusiasm will prove contagious. Remember, even Marco Polo's journey started with but a single step.

According to the Laurence Bergreen bio, most of what Polo claims to have seen, he really saw. Scholars through the centuries have contested how much of what Polo set down in his book was based on first-hand experience versus what he had heard second- or third-hand. Bergreen seems willing to cut Polo a lot of slack, casting dispersion gently over some of the more spurious bits of Polo braggadocio, such as the role he purports to play helping the Mongols with their siege of a key southern Chinese city that was providing fierce resistance. Polo claims he then helped design a series of catapults based on the latest Persian models, which sounds like so much Venetian bologna to Bergreen.

In another intriguing passage, Bergreen offers a novel explanation for why Polo seemed to linger so long near the mountains of Afghanistan: perhaps he was kicking a nasty opium habit he picked up along the way. And you thought history had to be boring.

As you probably already kno
w, Polo didn't actually set quill to parchment and write The Travels all by his lonesome; rather, while languishing in a Genoese jail as a prisoner of war around 1298, he dictated his fantastic tale to a fellow prisoner, a writer from Pisa by the name of Rustichello. Therefore, it's anyone's guess as to which adventures belong to the well-traveled but down-to-earth merchant and which to the writer of picaresque romances populated by chivalric knights. Kind of like in our day determining where manager Joe Torre ends and author Tom Verducci begins in The Yankee Years, nominally Torre's memoir but most of the time rendered in third person.

Whatever the case, the combination has stood the test of time. Polo left home in 1271 as a 17-year-old, and by the time he returned a quarter-century later, his claim to have seen more of the world than any single man ever had was wholly justified.

But it's the little details that make Polo's Travels such a fascinating read. Even when dismissing foreign customs and cultures in the sweep of a short paragraph, the style proves ingratiating. There are subtle variations on passages like "Since I have told you about these Tartars of the Levant, let us now leave them and turn to Turkestan, so that you may hear all about it. But as a matter of fact we have already told you about Turkestan and how it is ruled by Kaidu, so we have no more to tell." Then the master of the smooth segue is on to another exotic city, where invariably the natives are savages who worship idols, the amenities of life are good and plentiful, and the women are beautiful.

It's funny, I didn't start out on such a Sino-centric path, but one topic seemed to lead naturally to another. This good streak began with the Marco Polo biography, and that led to wanting to not only read Polo's Travels itself, but wanting to find out more about these raging, rampaging, fearless Mongols, who in the 13th century altered the course of history. Led by Genghis Khan -- who by sheer force of will and personal magnetism organized thousands of scattered, nomadic, often warring tribes into arguably the most cohesive military force in world history starting in 1206 -- their empire ultimately surpassed the Roman Empire and even Alexander's conquests, ranking second only to the British Empire in land mass. At its peak, the empire included not only China but as far south as Cambodia, as far east as Baghdad (a city the Mongols burned to the ground in 1258, after slaughtering the entire population), with control over Russia and the Ukraine (the Golden Horde) as well as part of Poland (Battle of Liegnitz in 1241) and Hungary.

In addition to their vast superiority in numbers (males up to age 60 were still draft-eligible), there was strict discipline and nuanced strategy in Mongolian warfare. Commanders of 10 reported to commanders of 100, who reported to commanders of 1,000 and so on up to 10,000 and 100,000, with constant promotion and demotion designed to reward soldiers based on merit, regardless of status. This resulted in a fierce loyalty not to one's tribe, but to the military chain of command.

Yet as innovative as Mongolian warfare proved to be, it was their ability to adapt their style of governing to the conquered lands that proved revolutionary, with policies that not only tolerated religious diversity but made a point of incorporating Christians, Muslims and Buddhists into positions of leadership.
But like all superpowers, the Mongols got a little too cocky and foolishly embarked on costly invasions of Korea and Japan. In the two unsuccessful Mongol invasions of Japan (1274, 1281), bad weather played as big a role in fending off the Mongol force as the fierce resistance offered by Japanese samurais, with kamikazes ("divine winds") and tsunamis conspiring to alter the the course of history, as thousands of ships in the Mongol fleet were lost at sea. This seeming intervention by the gods cast a pall over the once-infallible sheen of Mongol might back home, and just as suddenly as their meteoric rise on the world stage came their downfall. Following the death of Kublai Khan, the empire began to crumble.

I just happened to stumble on the Mongol DVD while I was checking out another movie at the library. I watched, loved it, and would have loved another hour. But after Genghis Khan's death the movie ends kind of abruptly. My thought was, as long as the director had his cast of thousands of native Mongols, dressed up in period costume with no place to go, why not spin the sucker out to 3- or 4-hour epic length? Well, turns out that Mongol was just the "first entry in a proposed trilogy." So for those of us who didn't get quite enough Mongol throat singing the first time around, we may have two more movies to look forward to. You go, Mr. Bodrov.

I found 1434
to be a terrific read, but I made the mistake of checking out the Wikipedia page halfway through the book. Turns out other historians are up in arms over some of the more controversial conclusions. The consensus is that not only are the author's credentials questionable, but his claims are often outlandish and his research shoddy. It's like writer Gavin Menzies was the James Frey of the historical world, with 1434 evidently the Million Little Pieces of the genre. Yet 1434 and its predecessor 1421: The Year China Discovered America were bestsellers. Maybe it's a good story even if it wasn't true.

The author claims that not only were the Chinese sailing around the world centuries before Europeans, but on one specific expedition they reached Italy and bestowed gifts on the Vatican, including the latest maps of the world, astronomical tables, and a comprehensive encyclopedia containing the latest Chinese innovations in agriculture, city planning, engineering and weaponry. Later on, Da Vinci and other "geniuses" like him, according to Menzies, were merely offering variations on what the Chinese had known for centuries. European civilization really emerged from the Dark Ages and took off as a direct result of the 1434 contact between Chinese and the West. And it was Chinese science and map-making that made possible the voyages of discovery, specifically an astronomical chart that was based on knowledge of the earth orbiting the sun hundreds of years before Copernicus and Galileo. There's probably an element of truth to the Chinese influence, but perhaps attributing the entire Renaissance to this one 1434 event is going too far.
Before reading Chronicle of the Chinese Emperors, I had no idea how much emphasis the culture placed on the afterlife. For the same reason ancient Egyptians built their great pyramids above ground, the Chinese built whole cities underground for the deceased nobility in unbelievably ostentatious displays of wealth and industry. They believed that they would need all their everyday belongings, utensils and even toiletries in the next life, and so houses were replicated down to the smallest detail.

The emperors themselves went to even greater lengths to ensure their afterlives would not only be lavishly comfortable but safe. Why else would the First Emperor, in the 2nd Century BC, have himself buried with thousands of life-size, life-like terra cotta soldiers and horses? This proved to be the rule rather than the exception, as the bigger the gravesite, the more notable and powerful the ruler. The Chinese were kind of funny like that. But aren't we all?

See also:

Highly recommended
Falling Man
Pirate Histories
Poe Eye
Finding Wiki

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Cramps' Lux Interior Dead

THE MUSIC WORLD lost another larger-than-life figure this week as Lux Interior, lead singer and founding member of Psychobilly legends The Cramps, passed away at age 62.

Even among New York City punk bands, there was something so menacing, so authentically fiendish about The Cramps that they stood apart from the scene even as they were a major component of it. In an era when it was good capital sense to pretend to be psychologically unhinged and mentally unbalanced, The Cramps seemed more than a little out there, even while playing up the more campy aspects of their ghoulish, horror movie persona for all it was worth.

The basic Cramps lineup featured no bass guitar, just two guitars and drums and a lean, emaciated, quite possibly deranged lead singer calling himself Lux Interior (real name Erick Purkhiser). The visual focus onstage alternated between the mostly shirtless lead singer and statuesque guitarist Poison Ivy dressed in tight black leather (real name Kristy Wallace, perhaps the original intimidating goth chick). Their signature sound was Neo and Retro at the same time, a blistering combo of 1950s rockabilly and 1960s garage punk. But as Lux himself is quoted in the excellent New York Times' obit: "Rock ’n’ roll has absolutely nothing to do with music. It’s much more than music. Rock ’n’ roll is who you are. You can’t call the Cramps music. It’s noise, rockin’ noise."
The Cramps for the most part operated under the radar of FM radio and the mainstream music business. But on their two best full length albums -- Songs the Lord Taught Us and Psychedelic Jungle -- as well as on the essential early compilation Bad Music For Bad People, they were right up there for a while with the best that the Punk genre could offer. It was pop music, sure, but somehow it seemed less like a mere commercial product that you held in your hands and more like a personal companion in your own struggle for identity and search for meaning.

Rudimentary as their musicianship may have been when starting out in 1976, like many fellow punk bands, after 2 or 3 years of steady touring, The Cramps emerged as a riveting live act. Their trademark sound was a primitive, almost primordial beat that seemed to rise up from some dark swamp where the baser, cruder instincts of mankind still lurked. I think All Music Guide nicely sums up The Cramps' trashy appeal: "The Cramps celebrate all that is dirty and gaudy with a perverse joy that draws in listeners with its fleshy decadence, not unlike an enchanted gingerbread house on the Las Vegas strip."

The Cramps - Save It

Not much of a video, but among my favorite 2-3 Cramps songs.

The Cramps - Garbage Man

The Cramps - Live at Napa State Mental Hospital

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Monday, February 02, 2009

Sunday, February 01, 2009

"Bullet" To Canton

FINALLY, SOME POSITIVE NEWS for Dallas Cowboys fans on Super Bowl weekend: the original #22, Bob Hayes, is going to the Hall of Fame, part of a strong Class of 2009 that includes Bruce Smith, Rod Woodson, Randall McDaniel, Derrick Thomas and 2,000-year-old owner Ralph Wilson.

Once dubbed the World's Fastest Human as a track star at Florida A&M and an Olympic gold medalist before embarking on his NFL career in 1965, Hayes became better known as "Bullet Bob" as a wideout with Dallas -- literally a threat to score every time he touched the ball, a touchdown waiting to happen. He still holds the Cowboys record for receiving TDs with 71, catching 371 passes for over 7,000 yards, better than a 20 yards per catch average. And Hayes was also a dynamic punt and kickoff returner. As the spectacle of pro football was overtaking baseball as the national pastime, it was the attraction of larger-than-life characters like Bob Hayes that helped to tilt the scale in the NFL's favor. The sight of "Bullet Bob" streaking like a blur across your color TV screen was emblematic of the excitement offered by football on a weekly basis.

The thing about any Hall of Fame, whether football, baseball or even Rock & Roll (Sex Pistols yes, Aerosmith no) is that you know it when you see it; if you have to think long and hard whether a candidate deserves to be enshrined, they probably don't. All the players in this year's class fit the bill, but for Hayes it comes 34 years after his playing career ended, and almost 7 since he passed away in 2002 at age 59.

One finalist who didn't get in was Cris Carter. He seemed to be a consensus lock judging by sports talk radio, but I never thought Carter was ever one of the best receivers in the league during his time. His career numbers are very good, with 130 TDs and over 1,000 receptions over 16 seasons, and he will probably get in sooner or later, but I'm glad this loudmouth has to wait a while, especially after his repeated over-the-top anti-Cowboys rants. Most notoriously, Carter said on ESPN that if he was running the Cowboys, "I'd get rid of T.O. T.O. got to go from the beginning. Right from the giddy up. I take one bullet and put it right in him. Bam!" He later apologized, sort of, but who knows, maybe that mindless, classless comment cost him a few votes this year. Nowadays when we hear the words wide receiver and bullet, we probably think of Plaxico Burress and Cris Carter first before Bob Hayes, and that's a shame.

DE Bruce Smith had over 200 sacks during a 19-year career, helping lead the Bills to 4 straight Super Bowls in the 1990s. G Randall McDaniel went to 12 straight Pro Bowls as an offensive lineman with the Vikes. S Rod Woodson, even when he was playing, you knew this player was an all-time great DB. Chiefs' LB Derrick Thomas had 126 sacks in an 11-year career cut short in 2000 after a fatal car accident, including a record 7 in one game. He may have been a notch below LT as far as blitzing banshee outside 'backers, but it wasn't a deep notch, and his 45 forced fumbles are a good indication of what a handful Thomas was from an offensive game plan standpoint. Yet even "experts" like WFAN's Mike Francesa were giving Thomas very short shrift leading up to yesterday's announcement.

As far as the game itself today, Arizona will upset Pittsburgh and, almost more importantly, put a lid on the traps of all the insufferable Steeler fans. I'd be surprised if Pittsburgh's overrated defense can hold the Cards under 30. Steelers won't have the cold weather to help them in Tampa, and therefore I see it 34-16 in favor of the Cards, denying Pittsburgh's bid for a 6th Lombardi Trophy in the process.