Monday, August 07, 2006

We Can Hitch A Ride

SO I'M AT THE BEACH, Rockaway Beach, the Sun is out & I Want Some, and in between throwin' the 'Bee, playing catch with a regulation NFL ball, riding some waves, talking to some Brazilian girls we met from Astoria, getting some rays, I see one of those small planes low in the sky above the shoreline, pulling behind a giant banner: it's an ad for D.H. on L.TV, one that I probably proofread. That brings it all home. If just one more viewer tunes in because of that ad, well, at the end of the day, isn't that what it's all about? Hey, I'm asking the questions here...

I'm debating whether to send in a C.E. claim form asking for reimbursement for food I never had getting spoiled for the blackout that didn't hit me. My landlady said our block was literally the only area not affected out of the whole area, something like,oh, I'm guessing 40 square blocks, maybe more, something like 250,000 people. But C.E. sent me a form and I'm not sure if they can pinpoint which areas were affected during which times. The letter said that I only had to lose power for a minimum of 12 hours to be eligible. I could say that some things worked but my refrigerator stopped working and all the food spoiled. I already filled out the form but have not sent it in yet. I have no qualms regarding the moral aspect, I'm more than ready to take advantage of my one opportunity to screw a big utility company right up the ass; I just don't want to be held liable for fraud. I will consult with a few of my advisors and then make a final decision forthwith, maybe fifthwith or sixthwith.

Got a credit card application in the mail recently from some heretofore unheard of financial entity called First Premier Bank. Now anyone who knows me knows that I owe thousands and thousands of dollars to credit cards, banks, etc., but shoot, I am as susceptible as the next guy to better living thru plastic, so long story short, I called up one nite, told some broad my pertinent info and lo & behold the credit card comes in the mail the other day with my name on it. Then I look at the not-even-so-fine print: a $250 credit limit, $48 application fee, and then a bunch of other fees (brought to you by industry lobbyists and a Republican-controlled House & Senate) totaling 178 dollars! That's right, I owe the fucking Credit Card Company $178 before I even use it, leaving a grand total of $72 available credit. I know I have bad credit, but aren't those terms just a wee bit onerous? Well? Again, I'm waiting for an answer here. I have a good right to just use the card up just out of spite. That's just the kind of childish, antisocial, devious thing I've done in the past.

Tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of The Big Layoff, as it's now known in industry circles. August 8, 2005. I get back from lunch at the Seaport when I see a maudlin-looking Paul Smith gingerly approaching me, the quintessential bearer of bad tidings. He regrets to inform me that I have been fired due to various factors, he thinks it's unfair, but all the forces are arrayed against me, it's a fait accompli, I'm to clean out my desk, vacate the premises, turn in my membership card, cease and desist, do not pass Go or collect 200 dollars, see ya wouldn't wanna be ya, don't let the proverbial door hit you on the way out, be kind to the people you meet on the way up because you meet the same people on the way down, praise the lord and pass the ammunition, don't follow leaders watch the parking meters, I don't make the rules I just follow them, be careful what you wish for, there are people starving in China with no shoes or even feet to speak of, so put your nose to the grindstone, get your ducks in a row, sharpen your pencils, and keep your ear to the ground, you're very well read it's well known, but something is happening here and you don't know what it is, do you Mr. Jones.

It's been a year of struggle, sturm und drang even, but onward we strive, excelsior! Tossed asunder on seas of indifference, shipwrecked on islands of hostility, beached on shores of uncertainty. Yeah, it's been all those things. But I'm a fighter, a survivor, as stubborn as a mule, nobody breaks my rules, I'm looking for one new value, but nothing comes my way.

But seriously. Worse case scenario, best case scenario, who has time to differentiate anymore? I've got a good base here at L.TV. Friday was my first day off in, oh, about 5 weeks. I'm back today & tomorrow, then I talk to M. about the rest of the week, but it looks like I can count on 4 days a week here. Hopefully my other clients will use me more steadily. And then sometime in the fall, the catering biz will get bizzy & I'll take my place in the great merry-go-round of society, filling my destiny in some karmic comedy of conventional comity. Let it be written, let it be said.

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