Wednesday, January 18, 2006

New York's Free Dailies

Part of my daily routine since being laid off is grabbing one or both of the free papers, amNewYork and metro, and going for my morning bagel and Earl Gray. If a free paper can be overpriced, then both these rags fit the bill. I realize that at 45 years old, I am several decades past their target audience, but I can still bitch, can't I?

Let's take metro first. Besides being horribly copy-edited, the paper features an array of mind-numbingly moronic features. On its op-ed page, metro features something called TODAY'S DEBATE, which is basically the old inquiring photographer gimmick, whereby they stop four people each day and ask them about a current event. Notable for their uncanny ability to corral the four dumbest, uninformed people on any given day, it never fails to amaze me how clueless these responses are. Today the question was, "What do you think about Hillary Clinton's comparison of Congress to a plantation?" Let's hear from someone called Mabel Minier, a 19-year-old Sales consultant (whatever the fuck that is) from Manhattan: "I didn't know anything about it," she responds. "I don't care, to be honest. It doesn't affect me." Well, excuuuuse me for asking. On so many levels this is disturbing. Another genius, Jackie Carroll, a 26-year-old from Brooklyn, you guessed it, another Sales consultant, says, "That sounds ignorant to me. I don't know why she said that. Congress makes the laws; that's a big thing." Yikes! I really blame the "reporter" for wasting everyone's time by jotting down their "thoughts" and sharing them with us. How about interviewing more than four people and picking out the quality ones?

But my least favorite, or more accurately the most pathetic waste of space, is the feature called PLAYING THE FIELD, written by a pitiful ass named Jason Raj McIntyre. His chosen bailiwick is pro athletes and who they're dating or fucking or whatever at any given time. This sniveling sycophant is immersed in the club world and performs the great public service of telling us who, for instance, Derek Jeter was seen with last night. I'm not making this up. Today he offered us this gem: he is rooting for the Carolina Panthers and Pittsburgh Steelers to prevail in this coming weekend's plaoyff games because, as he puts it, they represent "the cooler party animals"!
The rest of the paper includes the requisite celebrity worship and mindless designer brand name consumerism. On the cover is a picture of Eva Longoria. Why is this overexposed, talentless bimbo newsworthy today? Well, because she was seen kissing another overexposed celebrity at some L.A. club. That's what passes for news these days at metro. God help us.

1 comment:

formerly fun said...

Is there really someone named Mabel who is under 80?