Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I Know Things Are Gonna Change, But I Can't Say Bad Or Good

That's a line from Neil Young's "Look Out For My Love" and it's been running thru my head a lot the past few days. It's funny, I kind of started this blog so that I could pontificate on things political, musical... but it's hard to find the peace of mind needed to, well, look outside myself. They say the only thing worse than a bad job is no job at all. I guess I should consider myself fortunate, because this Central Research gig really sucks. You're calling people at home and asking them to respond to a bunch of questions and then typing in the answers, some multiple choice, some you have to type in their putrid responses. Of course, there are no headsets, so you scrunch the phone between your neck and shoulder while all around you hums the background noise of your fellow workers doing the same thing. There's no place to even hang your coat so you hang it off the chair and people are constantly bumping your chair going past. You get one 5-minute break an hour. The bathrooms are locked and you have to sign in for the fucking key! How petty! You take solace in the fact that your next job can't be as bad. You feel like your life is in a downward spiral because you now realize how entwined your outlook and your employment situation is. You realize people are probably tired by now of you complaining about your plight. You're pissed off at some of your friends who not only aren't helping but sometimes say the most spiteful, hurtful stuff, maybe without realizing it, I don't know. One "friend" left a message the other week wondering if you were on Skid Row yet! That's fucking helpful! But what goes around comes around. And I'm not supposed to be bitter, of course. You realize now that your life mirrors that of Gordon Comstock from Orwell's "Keep The Aspidistra Flying" whereby you have to count each penny while trying to work your way out. I guess that's what they call irony in action. Well, that's enough for now. I'm depressing myself, and I have to go to work and do some more meaningless bullshit surveys. Oh boy!

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