Thursday, March 13, 2008

Runnings Of The Mouth

"My whole goal for him was he's got to show me golf is the most important thing in his life. And the most important thing in his life is getting drunk."
Swing coach Butch Harmon on Monday after severing ties with John Daly; on Wednesday Daly was disqualified from the Arnold Palmer Invitational for missing his tee time.

"I felt pretty good. I just didn't get the ball where I wanted to, especially with two strikes. I can get to two strikes. Right now I just don't have an out pitch."
Get ready for another season of excruciating Mike Mussina postgame quotes just like this one, an exhibition loss where he surrendered 5 runs and 6 hits in just 2+ innings.

"Look, this is the deal, folks. All these people that are paranoid about the world come and scream at me everywhere."
Bill Clinton after being booed by anti-NAFTA folks at a Hillary rally. It's always gotta be about Bill.

"I believe that our economy has got the fundamentals in place for us to ... grow and continue growing, more robustly hopefully than we're growing now. So we're still for a strong dollar."
President Bush on the economic "slowdown." Good to know the President supports a strong currency. Go back about your business, Americans; nothing to see here.

"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept."
A quote that is this clueless on so many levels is a rare feat, Geraldine Ferraro. Ferraro was "forced" to resign from the Clinton campaign yesterday.

"She is a monster, too -- that is off the record -- she is stooping to anything."
Former Barack Obama adviser Samantha Power on Hillary Clinton; Powers resigned from the campaign last Friday.

"I just don't want to be thought of as a monster."
Ashley Alexander Dupre, aka Kristen, nee Ashley Youmans: one-time "escort" to a now ex-governor. Hey, you had sex with Eliot Spitzer. To paraphrase another disgraced pol, "We feel your pain."

"I cannot allow my private failings to disrupt the people's work."
Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer in his resignation speech yesterday. And somewhere in Washington, Larry Craig and David Vitter are smiling, still "serving" the people.














"In their investigation of the Eliot Spitzer scandal, law enforcement officials found that the Emperors Club escort service called Spitzer by the code name 'Client 9,' but according to escorts who slept with him, he's more of a 'Client 4 1/2' if you know what I'm saying!"
David Letterman in his all-Spitzer Top 10 List Wednesday night.

"They have another custom, very shameful and beyond all human belief. For their women, being very lustful, cause the private parts of their husbands to swell up to such a huge size that they appear deformed and disgusting, and this is accomplished by a certain device of theirs, the biting of certain poisonous animals. And in consequence of this many lose their organs, which break through lack of attention, and they remain eunuchs."
Amerigo Vespucci, overheard in Old Europe discussing an early form of Viagra in the Americas.

"No one except a fool writes for anything except money."
Samuel Johnson, fast becoming my go-to quote guy among 18th century lexicographers.

5 comments:

Greg C. said...

How did you like that perfect 5 inning performance by Mussina or the previous start where he struckout 5 in 2 innings and only have up 1 run on a wind propelled HR? I guess he got the ball where he wanted.

Magnus Maximus said...

I seriously think there's a good chance that the Feds' pursuit of Spitzer was political. I mean, Christ...the MANN ACT? That bullshit law has a long and rich history of being used by da gubment to go after folks they don't like. I find it difficult to believe that all those resources would be used to catch some guy boning a hooker...and when you look at the powerful enemies he had made, it starts to seem quite plausible.

Regarding the False Idols of the Federal Reserve known as dollars, how bout the Fed bailing out the Big Time Investment Firms? Meanwhile the national coffers continue to be plundered by our commander in thief while food and oil prices skyrocket in response to inflation that would make any circus balloon jealous...but DON'T WORRY, IT'S NOT A RECESSION! Crazy librul media.

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Wardens World said...

Mussina is gonna have a lot more bad games than good ones this year, trust me. He can be rolling along for 3-4 innings, but he is ALWAYS gonna give up one or two long balls a game that will hurt him.

Max, there's a good chance there's more here than meets the eye. As you said, he had a lot of enemies in high places. Not that Spitzer needed too much outside help fucking things up, but the whole investigation was too neat somehow.

Capitalism is set up so that the more money you have, the less risk there is of losing your money. The whole system is rigged, from tax cuts and offshore accounts to international development zones that amount to little more than industrial sweat shops that use slave labor; even raising the minimum wage is fought against tooth and nail. But it serves Bear Stearns right. I didn't like their attitude when I went there for an interview in December. I probably put a curse on them without even knowing it.

Boy, Bush is leaving America with a booming economy, isn't he? Everything the guy has touched his entire life has turned to shit. No he broke a whole country, and I'm sure Pop Bush and old Skeletor herself couldn't be prouder of their Shrub. And Dick Cheney takes his world tour five years later, still assuring everyone that progress is just around the corner, the ultimate American shuckster for the New World Chamber of Commerce.

jimithegreek said...

good one