Who Let The Dopes In?

Michael Vick appears in court, pleads not guilty to dogfighting charges

RICHMOND, Va. -- Michael Vick's ability to run, juke and dance by defenders has earned him millions in football, but it was of no use in the courtroom Thursday. When it was Vick's turn to face the judge, he slowly rose from his chair, stared straight ahead and walked to the middle of the room.

Facing a maximum of six years in jail on dogfighting charges, he pleaded not guilty. The beleaguered Falcons quarterback said those two words loudly and in a confident tone in the middle of a federal courtroom packed with more than 100 reporters and fans in the back and guarded on the sides by U.S. Marshals.

ONE ASPECT of the Vick case that really galls me is all the pro athletes who still don't get it and are going out of their way to defend Vick. It started with Clinton Portis a few months ago, a typically addled Miami University product. When the dog-fighting charges surrounding Vick surfaced, Portis declared that Vick should be allowed to do what he wants:

In an interview with a Virginia television station Friday, Portis and a teammate, offensive tackle Chris Samuels, defended Vick. Portis said that if Vick is charged and convicted of dogfighting, "then you're putting him behind bars for no reason."

"I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property. It's his dog. If that's what he wants to do, do it," Portis told WAVY-TV in Norfolk.

They're raising 'em real good an' smart down there in Old Virginny, aren't they? Exhibit A is NBA baller Allen Iverson, the former Georgetown scholar-athlete and a native Virginian who has also made a career out of being a self-styled anti-social badass. Claiming "There's always a bullseye on us. Everybody doesn't love athletes. Some people feel like we're spoiled," Iverson sought to reassure the embattled Vick that, "He knows that all of us are rooting for him." Yeah, we fans just don't warm up to heartless animal killers or the other down to earth fellas like Ron Artest, Pacman Jones, the Vick brothers. I guess obscenely overpaid professional athletes like Ron Artest, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, the Vick brothers, Barry Bonds are all just misunderstood unspoiled wide-eyed innocents. Sorry, Allen. Our bad. Guess what: for the rest of his NBA career, I'm rooting against Allen Iverson every time he takes the court. EVERY time, and hard.

Even the usually classy Emmitt Smith put his foot in his mouth while weighing in on the Vick fiasco. Smith, while condemning dog fighting in general, didn't seem all that bothered by the charges against Vick, if the recent ESPN hire even bothered to read the indictment or, indeed, anything about the case at all, based on his comments. "He's the biggest fish in the whole doggone pond right now so they're putting the squeeze on him to get to everyone else," Smith said Saturday. Sadly, no one stopped him, so Smith went on to say, "Now, granted he might have been to a dogfight a time or two, maybe five times, maybe 20 times, may have bet some money, but he's not the one you're after. He's not the one you're after, he's just the one whose going to take the fall -- publicly."

Yeesh, Emmitt! Stick to making a fool of yourself on Dancing with the Stars. Looks like ESPN got themselves a real deep thinker there. I could find an 11-year-old on any street corner with a more nuanced take on the case. Although probably not anywhere in the American South. I give Sports Illustrated's Peter King credit on this one. Wondering out loud what ESPN saw in Smith in the first place to justify hiring him as a commentator, King wrote:

"I have a bad feeling about Smith's tenure at ESPN, and it hasn't even started. His comments on Vick are so idiotic and inappropriate that a few people at the Worldwide Leader have to be thinking, "Uh-oh. What if we've gone and hired someone who's very famous but not very smart?''

Speaking of "not very smart," the King of All Dumbasses Award goes hands down to another former NFL great and, I'm ashamed to admit, another former member of my beloved Dallas Cowboys. In an op-ed for the prestigious Southwest Florida News-Press titled "Don't be too quick to Judge," Deion Sanders' penchant for sheer uncut stupidity blew everyone else out of the water, raising the bar beyond reach, and lowering the standards of "journalism" in all likelihood beyond repair. The column really has to be read in full to get the full effect of its typically Deion-like blustery smugness, beginning with the opening nugget that this could have a devastating impact on Vick's endorsements. I'm sure all the dead dogs buried on his property after being savagely put to death all concur, Deion; yeah, that's the "devastating" part of the whole case here. Way to keep it all in perspective, you sorry excuse for a human being.

In Deion-world, you see, Vick's "reputation might wind up so stained that he’s never forgiven in the court of public opinion. That would be too bad for the 27-year-old superstar." That's the shame here, that a guy was caught ... not that he was engaging in "unforgivable" and illegal activities.

The amazing thing is that other people besides Sanders had to make the decision to print this drivel. Imagine the editorial meeting that took place, the great meeting of minds involved. It's all part of the ingrained cultural mindset here in America where celebrities are sought out for their opinions on serious matters just because they're famous, not because they bring any special insight, skill or intellectual acumen to the table. And just as dispiriting are the enablers who defend or excuse the transgressions of celebrities for no other reason than they're rich and famous. But back to the "essay" at hand, which would be potentially comedic if the subject wasn't so startlingly inhumane.

Sanders believes that "This is all the result of perspective. What a dog means to Vick might be a lot different than what he means to you or I." This is a statement shocking in its capacity to outrage, but wait, it gets worse. Deion says he would "bet Vick loves the dogs that were the biggest and the baddest. Maybe, he identified with them in some way. You can still choose to condemn him, but I’m trying to take you inside his mind so you can understand where he might be coming from." Yeah, well, a trip inside Michael Vick's mind is a journey I'm not all that eager to embark on, Deion; and I would bet that he "loved" the dogs he was condemning to a short, brutal life of pain and suffering the same way an abusive father "loves" the children he has to beat every night because, you know, it's for their own good. Go to hell, Deion.

There's more from Sanders, all too much more, but since just about every word makes me alternately sick, depressed and really, really pissed off, I can't stand to wallow in this filth too much longer. This Mensa member goes on and on about how Vick just couldn't be the ringleader, offering no evidence to back it up other than "I just can't see it." You know, Deion, I bet there's a lot you don't see. According to Deion, "The reason this is turning into a three-ring circus is that baseball is boring, basketball is months away, football is around the corner and we in the media don’t have a thing interesting to write about." Could a person be more wrong, more dumb, and still walk among us? In Florida, Deion passes for a pundit! Beautiful! I mean, has there EVER been more to write about in sports, given little developments like, oh, the NBA officiating scandal, Barry Bonds chase of Hank Aaron, the ongoing Tour de France fiasco...

Finally, as if somehow relevant to the case at hand (and what a nice job of copy-editing here by the geniuses at the West Florida News-Press), Deion sees fit to mention that he has three trained German Shepherds of his own -- "just in case someone wants to rob my family." Then the fucking peanut brained Sanders ends with a unnecessary cheap shot at the QB who the Falcons are counting on in Vick's absence: "How will this end up? I have no idea. All I know is Falcons fans better pray because Vick’s backup is Joey Harrington. Enough said."

Enough said? Enough said! Rarely have truer words been spoken, you fucking lunatic!

Of course, his was not Vick's first brush with the law. Remember when Vick, using the clever alias Ron Mexico, was accused by a woman of giving her genital herpes. Oh yeah, the guy's a real charmer. According to my sources at Wikipedia,

In March 2005 a woman named Sonya Elliott filed a civil lawsuit against Vick alleging she contracted genital herpes from Vick and that he failed to inform her that he had the disease.^[20] On April 24, 2006 Vick's attorney, Lawrence Woodward, revealed that the lawsuit had settled out of court with an undisclosed amount.

There's also a metric ton of anecdotal evidence evidence that the guy is a total scumbag, treating kids who ask for his autograph shabbily, missing appointments and meetings, and being an all-around knucklehead and thug. One source told SI writer Don Banks that "He knows what's going on in that house in Virginia. There's not a doubt in my mind he's involved with it,'' while another source "cited Vick's longtime 'affinity' for the dog-fighting subculture, and expressed certainty that Vick was aware of what was happening at the house."

Another of Bank's sources (and the man does have sources) told him that

"a year or so ago, Vick and a neighbor got into a disagreement about the safety of Vick keeping two pit bulls in an unfenced yard at his home in suburban Atlanta. The neighbor went to Vick's home and complained to him that there were children in the neighborhood and that the dogs were a potential safety issue. Vick just "laughed in the guy's face and told him to get the hell out of there,'' the source said. "We just kind of knew he was involved with pits.''

Ultimately, it was another of Don Banks' inexhaustible supply of sources that got to the heart of the matter, cutting right to the chase about why Vick is involved in such mindless brutality: "He's not very bright at all,'' the source said of Vick. "And that's a big part of his problems. He's a very unintelligent person and he makes poor decisions because of it. It's not a white or black thing. Paris Hilton is an idiot, too. Mike Tyson was totally dumb, but for a long time his trainer kept him protected from his worst mistakes. You have to have someone around you who can protect you from yourself at times.''

After the tragic mass shooting on the Virginia Tech campus, Vick's alma mater, he reached deep down and, teaming with the United Way, contributed the staggering sum of $10,000 to go to the families of the victims. Vick, whose Atlanta Falcons contract is worth $130 million, making him one of the highest paid players in the history of the sport, also makes millions of dollars more each year in lucrative commercial endorsements, said that "When tragic things like this happen, families have enough to deal with, and if I can help in some small way, that's the least I can do." Well, yes, Michael, that was the least you can do, speaking of "small way" -- considering you were alleged to have bet much more than that sum on the outcome of a single dog fight, on more than one occasion. Which in my book makes you whatever the opposite of a humanitarian is.

The ironic part is that Michael was supposed to be the good Vick! Younger brother Marcus, also a talented college QB, never made it in the pros, blowing his chances at NFL riches with some reprehensible actions both on and off the field of play, while displaying a disturbing lack of character. Marcus was dismissed by Virginia Tech "due to a cumulative effect of legal infractions and unsportsmanlike play." ^[1]

Those charges included violently stomping on the leg of a Louisville player who was down on the field, and giving the finger to his hometown crowd (which role model Michael would repeat before Falcons fans in 2006). Off the field, his driving license was suspended after nine traffic offenses, and he was charged with possession of marijuana and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Upon being thrown off the V-Tech squad in early 2006, an obviously contrite Vick was quoted as saying, "It's not a big deal. I'll just move on to the next level, baby."^[7]

And as if to prove how much he "got" it, Marcus continued to run afoul of the law. Probably just bad timing, because just three days after making the above statement, Vick was

"charged with three counts of brandishing a firearm, a Class One misdemeanor ^{[8] [9]}, in Suffolk, Virginia. A police report stated that he allegedly pointed a gun at a 17-year-old and at least two of his friends in the parking lot of a McDonald's restaurant in the 6200 block of Town Point Road in Suffolk. It has been reported that Vick approached the group of teenagers after his girlfriend told him that someone from the group had made disparaging remarks towards her. ^[10] Vick claimed that the "gun" in question was actually a BlackBerry cell phone that was mistaken for a gun and that his accusers were trying to blackmail him. ^[11] Marcus Vick was convicted and received a six month suspended sentence for the incident."

Later that same year, in December, "a 17-year old girl from Montgomery County, Virginia, filed a civil lawsuit against Marcus Vick accusing him of sexual battery upon a minor, fraud, and additional charges. In the lawsuit, seeking $6.3 million, an unnamed girl claims that when she was 15 (below the legal age of consent in Virginia) and was student in high school, she engaged in a sexual relationship with Vick, who was 20 years old, over a nearly two year long period. She also alleges Vick offered to provide her alcohol and marijuana and asked her to have sex with other men."

Looks like that next "level" may be the penitentiary team, baby! I guess those good parenting medals for Mr. & Mrs. Vick are on hold for now. But why blame the parents, they're only the ones who raised these two monsters. Nice job.

This morning, when I tried to go on Vick's official Website, it said Bandwidth Limit Exceeded. Whether it was supporters or detractors jamming the lines, I guess we'll have to wait and see. On the PETA and Humane Society sites, of course, there were passionate calls for immediate suspension of the once-elusive Vick without pay, as well as targeting his many sponsors for boycott, which sounds about right to me. Have to set an example to the hip-hoppers that this shit is not gonna be tolerated in a civilized society. And while you're at it, pull your fucking pants up. If I were mayor of a large city -- and who knows: stranger things have happened in politix -- I would ban anyone wearing their pants below a certain point. I would also instruct building managers to bar anyone from entering the building who refuses to pull up his pants. Period. You want to be part of society, or you want to be "bad." That's why millions of young minority kids are basically unemployable. They're learning this behavior from somewhere, but to me it's a disgusting aspect of the prison culture that has seeped into the culture at large, and it should be stopped. I mean, the joke is on them in the long run, isn't it? It borders on indecent exposure, and I would as mayor instruct my police force to round up anyone out in public who chooses to walk around like that, and then put the arrestees in a cell with some real sex offenders and, say, serial rapists and hardened pedophiles and then see if that's a deterrent for the next time. Hey, that's how I roll, maaaaa-aaaaaannnnnnn!
















This dog's name is Gypsy. She was rescued after suffering these serious injuries in a dog fight. Glamorous "sport" isn't it. Even after all she's been through, she's still smarter than Michael Vick and his supporters.

The Website I found this picture on published a bunch of comments responding to the picture. Most, being members of the human race, were of course outraged, whereas others, of indeterminate species, responded with sentiments ranging from support of Vick to belittling the seriousness of the charges. And we wonder why the country is going to hell in a hurry. Here's just a sampling of enlightened opinion from your fellow members of humanity who you're lucky enough to share the planet with (inventive spelling and grammar preserved):

"you guys are all faggots Michael Vick did not do this to the dogs, the dogs did it to them selves, Michael Vick was just in the area when it happend, fuck the haters i support Michael Vick 100%, this photo of the dog is just an optical illusion"

"yall muthafuckers need to get a fucking grip. if yall were really that concerned with dog fighting shit would have been done but now that the highest paid player in football is implicated on bullshit charges everyone's a fucking humanitarian that shits rediculouse even if he was involed or not most of you dumb fucks would do the same shit for 50g's because thats more than what have yall assholes make in a year so get of my man Vick Nuts and get a fucking life bitches!"

"Oh man... he didn't to dogs. He did it to Pitbulls. Pitbulls should be exterminated from the planet. Vick is still the fastest QB today. Until someone else can top that, I'm still a fan of Vick. But hey maybe that's why he's fast. He probably uses Dogs to chase him in training. That explain why he's so fast."

"Michael Vick is the best and he is inocent, its the other dogs that messed up that dog, not Michael Vick."

"fuck the dog. a dog is a dumb animal.
someone said they wanted vick dead. wow...
such compassion. vick didn't do anything to the dogs. he bet on the fights. he didn't even live at the house where all that shit was."

Now if you all don't mind, I'm going to go stick my head in the oven.