Monday Madness

DIDJA HEAR Mike Francesa's typically shallow take on the Paris Hilton incarceration: "Leave her alone! Ya gonna put people like her in jail? She could help the economy more by shopping!" ... I couldn't disagree more with the overbearing blowhard on this one ... The problem is that people like Francesa pass their feeble-minded "values" on to their little darlings, and that's one of the main reasons the world is now full of spoiled young brats ... How can it be otherwise when there are whole generations of self-centered Boomer types whose idea of parenting consists of constantly telling their oh-so-gifted kids that they literally can do no wrong...

As Bob Raissman rightly put it in yesterday's Daily News: "Francesa droning on about the final episode of The Sopranos, or engaging in stale repartee with Chris (Mr. Chow) Carlin, had the cumulative effect of putting listeners who had just awakened back to sleep." And here's Raissman's equally correct take on WFAN management's ongoing and increasingly embarrassing attempt to replace the I-Man in the important 6-10am hole: "Their search has been a disaster. A mish-mosh of miscast talent has paraded into the FAN Cave, failing to produce compelling morning radio. Or give any inkling it has enough potential to capture even a minor share of the audience in this highly competitive time slot." Where I strongly disagree with Raissman is his call for the station to bring back Don Imus. That horse has left the barn, and it's time for all concerned (including listeners) to move on...

Of course Charles McCord, who is fast turning into radio's version of Ed McMahon, could reliably be heard laughing heartily at Francesa's inane utterances all morning long, making for some truly god-awful, cringe-worthy moments on WFAN last week ... It's the listeners who are suffering as the fruitless search to replace Don Imus in the A.M. unmerrily spins back around to the insufferable know-it-all that is Mike Francesa... I'm with Phil Mushnick and Raissman: Francesa is a first-class jerk, inasmuch as someone that mediocre can ever be considered "first class" anything... What can you expect from someone who publicly admits his favorite "artist" is Billy Joel ... As a rule, smug suburban people do not contribute anything original to a culture; they merely consume. Period...

The fact that the last episode of The Sopranos was evidently such a huge disappointment to viewers has to take some luster off what some people call the best show in the history of television. Nothing can be expected to live up to that amount of hype, but the fade-to-black ending came across as something of a cop-out to an awful lot of fans ... Over the years the final tune playing over the closing credits of each Sopranos episode was often something entirely out of left field, such as Johnny Thunders' classic You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory and, earlier this season, Conditional Discharge by punk poet John Cooper Clarke ... What a shame that they used such a played-out song like Don't Stop Believing by a hideous band like Journey to close out the series finale ... Those obscure musical choices (the good ones) had to be the handiwork of Little Steven Van Zandt, who has put out a few neglected classic solo albums of his own, including 1984's overlooked Voice of America...

Favorite baseball name heard over the weekend: Pitcher Tom Gorzelanny of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Gorzelanny sounds like an imported Italian cheese ... Pirates' outfielder Xavier Nady has 10 HRs this year, always liked his bat when he played for the Mets ... Don't look now Yankee haters, but after three-game sweep of Bucs, record now stands at 30-31, just one game under .500 with a mere 101 games remaining on the 2007 schedule ... Former scapegoat Bobby Abreu's average up to respectable .272 after going 19-38 so far this month, with power slowly starting to return ... Yanks playing best ball of season with Melky Cabrera in starting lineup the last 11 games, with the Melk-Man batting .390 during that stretch and providing solid defense in center, just like he did last season before Joe Torre foolishly sat him down for stretch run and playoffs, in the process ruining the team's chemistry, in order to make room for veterans returning from injuries...

Curse of the Sheff? After some commentators wanted to stick a fork in him earlier this year, Gary Sheffield has rebounded and is really heating it up lately. I think most Yankees fans will admit they were rooting against this guy after he acrimoniously left the club, but he now stands at 17 HRs and 43 RBIs, plus last time I looked he was leading the AL in runs scored with 57 and has 7 stolen bases ... After taking two of three from the NL-leading Mets this weekend, my pick to win it all this year is looking better than ever right about now: your defending AL champion Detroit Tigers...

Al Leiter somehow seems much less annoying lately on Yankees broadcasts, although he still has a tendency to talk way too much when making a point ... Great to hear Bobby Murcer back in the booth, he never sounded better or more sharp ... It occurs to me that there are young baseball fans who have never watched a game on TV without almost half the screen taken up with needless stat boxes or lines of graphics giving you the score, the inning, the count, the station logo, the weather, the time ... Somehow 20 years ago fans could keep all that information in their heads without being reminded of it every second...

Remember when silly game shows were considered a cheap, crude form of "entertainment" that was rightly consigned to the ghetto of daytime TV? These shows used to be designed for shut-ins, cooped-up housewives, the terminally unemployable and those who are, ahem, easily amused. Well, what does it say about our culture when these complete wastes of time are plastered all over network prime-time TV? Is there anything more depressing than seeing these shrill, self-centered contestants jumping up & down and shouting the dreaded "Woooo!" word? Why does anyone care if someone else wins or doesn't win money? I never got that ... On a related note, I can't wish enough bad things to happen to dick-headed Howie Mandel...

Retro sports jerseys seen on the streets of New York, worn by actual people, the last few weeks: a #2 Alex English Denver Nuggets ... #32 Julius Erving New York Nets ... #75 Howie Long Oakland Raiders ... #75 Mean Joe Greene Pittsburgh Steelers ... #3 Babe Ruth New York Yanks ... #33 Pat Ewing Georgetown ... #2 Moses Malone Houston Rockets ... #11 Isiah Thomas Detroit Pistons ... and my favorite, a gold #42 Nate Thurmond, The City (San Francisco) Warriors ... Thurmond was a very underrated player, even for a Hall of Famer; he was overshadowed for much of his career by Wilt and Russell ... I wouldn't buy or wear one, but I like to spot 'em! ... I do have a vintage #8 Aaron McKie 76ers jersey that I impulsively purchased after getting caught up in the euphoria that was Philly's 2001 Finals run. Sure to be a collector's item...
Terrible decision last night by Cavs' coach Mike Brown to take out LeBron James after two quick early fouls in first quarter of Game 2. You have to call the refs' bluff in that situation and leave him in. Are they gonna foul out the game's biggest superstar in one half? Doubtful ... ABC's Jeff Van Gundy and Marc Jackson were all over Brown for benching James as soon as he did ... Cleveland's Larry Hughes is just a dumb basketball player who is killing his team with his horrible brand of play. He went 0-5 from the floor in 20 minutes last night; now 1-10 in over 40 minutes for the series, he never met a bad shot he won't take ... Always hated his game ... Give steady Eric Snow and hot-shooting Daniel Gibson (20-30 last three playoff games, including blistering 9-13 from 3-point land) all his minutes instead ... But why play the hot hand, it's only the playoffs...

Spurs' Tony Parker has been the best player on the court both games, shooting 25-43 from the floor, followed by sweet-shooting Manu Ginobili, 7-11 from beyond the arc, 14-15 from the line, then Tim Duncan, a workmanlike 19-33 from the field ... All three main Spurs are outplaying anyone/everyone on the Cavs' side... That said, all it takes is one monster game by LeBron and it can still turn into a series. But that monster game has to be tomorrow night's Game 3 in Cleveland, or it's turn out the lights, the party's over, they say that all good things must end...