Friday, October 06, 2006

Drumbeat Of Deceit

Seems like the GOP is doing its level best to give the November elections away to the Dems. When you consider the gallery of rogues, creeps and clowns that makes up much of the Republican slate this year -- George "Macaca" Allen, Katherine "Recount" Harris, Jeanine "Where's Page 10" Pirro, Dennis "Lying Bastard" Hastert -- you have to wonder just what kind of October surprise Karl "Daddy Dearest" Rove and Ken "I'm Coming Out" Mehlman have up their sleeves to offset the last two weeks of nightmarish news for Bush & Co. The party that hides behind religion has somehow managed to cede the moral high ground to their opponents -- aka, the treasonous, godless, terrorist sympathizers and sodomites -- at a very inopportune time, with a little more than a month to go until the crucial mid-term elections. Maybe the Man Upstairs Himself finally grew tired of a bunch of corrupt to the bone, war-mongering hypocrites using His Monicker in vain.

After all, when Tom "The Exterminator (of Ethics)" DeLay showed up for his arraignment, he was asked why he was smiling so widely for his mug shot. The former bug killer, indicted on money-laundering and conspiracy charges, explained it this way: "I said a little prayer before I actually did the fingerprint thing, and the picture. And my prayer was basically: 'Let people see Christ through me. And let me smile.'" It seems DeLay is referring to the Jesus Christ who had a thing for sweatshops, slave labor & forced prostitution, which is a rather novel interpretation of the gospel. More likely, when we see pictures of Tom these days, we're thinking not of the Lord and Saviour, but of DeLay's ridiculous-looking cohort in crime Jack Abramoff wearing a Jack Ruby-like fedora to his own arraignment. Nice fashion sense there, Jack!

No telling whether Jesus was still grinning after learning of Mark "Page Boy" Foley's e-mail walks on the wild side. But I'm sure He would find a way to blame it all on those freedom hating Democrats, like Dennis "I'm Just As Ugly On The Inside" Hastert managed to do while somehow maintaining a straight, rubbery facade. Speaker Hastert, in a moment of true moral clarity, saw the scandal for what it really is, an attempt by Al-Qaeda types to damage this great nation and hinder those true patriots who want only to do the people's business:

"But, you know, this is a political issue in itself, too, and what we’ve tried to do as the Republican Party is make a better economy, protect this country against terrorism — and we’ve worked at it ever since 9/11, worked with the president on it — and there are some people that try to tear us down. We are the insulation to protect this country, and if they get to me it looks like they could affect our election as well."

At the end of the day, it's all about knowing what's best for America.

The lesson here, boys and girls, is that Karma can be a bitch, even for those who don't believe it. And it turns out that Denial is still not just a river in Egypt anymore:
New Woodward Book Says Bush Ignored Urgent Warning

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