Baby Have You Seen Her

BY NOW you've probably already heard about Rudy Ghouliani's 17-year-old daughter Caroline's Facebook page, on which she seemingly supports Barack Obama for Prez over her very own pops. In that she should be congratulated for having good taste.

But more to the point, if Republicans can continue to make an issue of Chelsea Clinton, which they obviously still do, then should the media/blogosphere be admonished from having a proverbial go at Caroline G; after all, if all is fair in love and war, is this not wartime? More importantly: Is our children learning? Didn't think so. But make no mistake about it: even if I didn't stumble on the above photo of Senator Lindsey Graham holding that stunningly simplistic, childish sign [OSAMA OBAMA AND CHELSEA'S MOM SAY CUT y RUN!!!], we would still be making ample room for all and sundry anti-Rudy news & views, including reprinting the following pictures of his surprisingly winsome daughter. 'Swat we do here on WardensWorld, inasmuch as we can be said to do much of anything here.

We will admit to a certain amusement bordering on jubilation when we found out earlier this year that Rudy's golf-obsessed 21-year-old son Andy -- that chubby kid we used to see in the '90s with the always-becapped Hizzoner in the stands at Yankee Stadium -- wants nothing to do with his old man now, understandable given the undeniably shabby circumstances surrounding Rudy's divorce from Donna Hanover.
It was with another large dose of mirth closing fast on elation that we more recently received apparently reliable reports that pompous Rudy attended his only daughter's high school graduation ceremony only to abruptly leave before so much as speaking with her, apparently more than just symbolic of their less than rosy relationship. In Rudy's defense, I'm sure he had a paying speaking gig somewhere to jet off to, a speech undoubtedly extolling his puffed-up role in 9/11; I mean, if he didn't have time to join the Iraq Study Group, you think he's gonna hang around a mere school to mingle with a bunch of proud parents? That's such pre-9/11 thinking.

Vanity Fair just unleashed a blistering take on the current Mrs. G -- entitled Giuliani's Princess Bride -- in which nobody is willing to go on record saying anything remotely positive about her. On the contrary, apparently people were tripping over themselves in the rush to publicly castigate her toxic personality. Before you bemoan the piece as a partisan hatchet job, remember how the press (mis)treated John Kerry's admittedly scary wife. Just saying.

But it's not just Rudy's closest relatives who are looking more and more like chinks in his flimsy, contrived armor; over the weekend, a former close aide (Jerome Hauer) told the U.K. Telegraph that Ghouliani would make a "terrible president," all but calling him the worst human being ever: "He's a control freak who micro-manages decisions, he has a confrontational character trait and picks fights just to score points. He is the last thing this country needs as president right now." Ah, a guy after my own heart. But then that's not new news to anyone who lived under Ghouliani's ham-handed reign of blustery hubris.

It's also worth repeating, if for no other reason that someone somewhere somehow may not have heard what by now is old but still relevantly embarrassing news, that at least two prominent members of Rudy's campaign inner circle have come back to cast some righteous aspersion on his basic people and organizational skills. Not that the buck ever stops with Rudy (see Kerik, Bernie; also "mobbed-up sleazeball").

In June, according to CNN.com,

"Giuliani’s South Carolina chairman resigned after he was indicted on drug charges. Giuliani insists he should not be judged based on the behavior of certain individuals associated with his campaign or mayoral administration."

The drug was evidently crack cocaine, which is not only alarmingly déclassé in the year 2007, but it's what you'd have to be smoking to still believe in Rudy's chance of being elected.

Back on July 5, when Ghouliani was campaigning in South Carolina, the disgraced Thomas Ravenel's now-thoroughly-blackened name repeatedly surfaced on the lips of inquiring reporters, and Rudy was forced to make a statement seeking to quell the damage, presciently intoning via the side of his crooked lying mouth: “I think everyone knows that in families — no matter how big they are — tragedies happen,” the GOP presidential hopeful added. “Bad things happen.”

Indeed they do, Mr. Mayor, and indeed they would. Less than a week later, the fecal matter continued to hit the high velocity air circulator in the form of the David Vitter hooker scandal, wherein Rudy's Southern regional campaign chair was quite lit'rally caught with his pants down. According to my sources at Wikipedia:

On July 10, Jeanette Maier, the "Canal Street Madam", alleged that Vitter was a customer on more than one occasion in the 1990s, when Maier was identified by federal prosecutors as operating a $300 per hour brothel.^[27] The Times-Picayune reported that "Maier offered no evidence or documents to support her claim."^[28] Maier said that Vitter "was not a freak. He was not into anything unusual or kinky or weird," and that he favored one prostitute in particular, Wendy Cortez,^{[29][30][31][32]}, the name of the prostitute that Vitter had been accused, during his 2004 campaign, of having had a lengthy affair with. Vitter denied that allegation during the campaign.^[33] On July 12, Cortez told The Times-Picayune that Vitter was "a regular customer" during his time in the state legislature, but that they "did not have a romantic relationship." ^[34]

Vitter is unlikely to face criminal charges due to statutes of limitations.^[35] Vitter apologized to GOP senate colleagues but avoided the press who repeatedly attempted to talk to him. ^[36]

In May 1999, Vitter replaced Congressman Bob Livingston after Livingston resigned due to an adultery scandal.^[1][37][16] Vitter said about Livingston's decision to resign, "It's obviously a tremendous loss for the state .... I think Livingston's stepping down makes a very powerful argument that Clinton should resign as well and move beyond this mess," referring to the Monica Lewinsky scandal of President Bill Clinton.^[38] In 2000, his wife, Wendy Vitter, commenting on the same scandal, said, "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If he [Vitter] does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me," referring to the incident of Lorena Bobbitt severing the penis of her husband and to Clinton's wife, Hillary Clinton.^[37]

So in the future, whenever you see the word Republican next to an elected official's name, remember that it's shorthand for Greedy Shameless Lying Hypocrite, as evidenced by the following:

"While the Lousiana state Republican Party offered guarded support,^[39] national Republicans offered forgiveness.^[40] The liberal magazine The Nation predicted that the Republican Party would be in a "forgiving mood," pointing out that if Vitter did step down, Democratic Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco would likely appoint a Democrat to take Vitter's place until a special election took place, thus increasing Democratic control over the Senate.^[41] Marianne Means, a syndicated columnist for Hearst Newspapers, reported that Republican senators gave Vitter a "loud standing ovation," which she characterized as hypocritical by contrasting this with the Republican attitude toward President Clinton's marital infidelity."

Ah, the hallowed halls of the U.S. Senate!
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The terrific political blog Wonkette had an update today on the Caroline Giuliani Facebook story, if by update you mean excuse to print a bunch of photos of Rudy's daughter in various stages of apparent intoxication. This recent sordid downturn for the worse aside, Wonkette has had a notable resurrection lately, really coinciding with founder Ana Marie Cox moving on last year. Coincidence or not, lately their biting satirical tone and brand of black humor is a perfect comic disinfectant for the almost daily dose of noxious effluvia emanating from the White House. Plus, the site's commenters might be the Internet's most reliably hilarious.

Now, as to how Wonkette got hold of the pictures and under what circumstances, that's a big yawn to me at this point, but you can hit Slate.com if the details are important to you. Someone got hold of a few Facebook fotos, which, as one spot-on Wonkette commenter put it, encapsulate what passes for cool among young wannabes:

"What's with all the pictures of teens and 20-somethings smiling for the camera holding up a nearly full glass/bottle/can of whatever? "See! Look! We are having FUN! We can prove it by grinning like an idiot and holding up liquor! Ha! Take that old people! We are daring and care-fucking-free!" Yawn."

That's what's known as nailing it, commenter JAMIESOMMERS, whoever you are.

Anyway, we reprint some of the better Caroline shots, along with some witty remarks from the learned smart-asses of the Wonkette peanut gallery. The only background you need to know is that according to the person who "supplied" Wonkette the pix:

"My sister went to elementary school with Caroline Rose G before she switched to Trinity School and apparently Caroline friended her even though my sister and her group of friends think that Caroline is catty and only friends with gay boys (like father, like daughter?). So my sister had no qualms about letting me send you these facebook pictures of her former schoolmate, including some she had de-tagged, but were found on mutual friends’ accounts. Enjoy."

We will enjoy. In fact, we already have...














Wonkette reader comments:

"Christ I'd hit it!"

"Of course she's single! This girl is a bigger fag hag than her daddy! Look at those boys she's with!"

"I hate to say it, but she looks a little like a non-sociopathic version of Ann Coulter."

"Who, or what, is seated beside her in picture number one? It looks like the daughter of Miss Jane Hathaway, a woman voted Least Likely To Conceive by the Class of '38."

"Rudy will make lemonade of this. Here's his next debate one-liner:
"Yes, my daughter supports Obama. Now can you right-to-lifers running against me finally understand why I support abortion?"

"She looks exactly like her mother, actually. a touch of rudy around the mouth. no doubt as to paternity, but obviously got the better of the gene pool. looks like a normal wholesome gay loving college girl. if rudy was MY daddy, you can bet my daddy issues would go a lot deeper than fag hagging and supporting black Democrats for president."

"So let me get this straight. Rudy has been married three times so far. He has a track record of being vindictive, petty, angry, of taking things personally and having a thin skin. He is a cronyist of the first order. His grown-up kids are estranged from him. And the topper is that they don't even support him to become President, and presumably they know him better than anyone else. I used to think this was the sort of irrelevant fluff that one comes to expect of the MSM, but now I'm leaning in the other direction. The man doesn't seem to have anyone who likes him. Hell, even a loser like Mike Dukakis could secure 80% of his own family's vote."

"Help me out, team. In the (first) photo, is that a young adult born as a female who is compressing her boobs and hasn't discovered the miracles of waxing/bleaching the 'stache, or is that a young adult, born as a male, who is taking female hormones? Not that I want to get all fixated on the gender spectrum here, or that I'm judging or saying you gotta be at one end or the other of the gender spectrum, but I think young Caroline might be more than just a fag hag....just imagine how Rudy will do in that South Carolina primary if it turns out she's hanging with Upper West Side teen trannies."