NFL Booms & Busts

The Ups & Downs Of The Young NFL Season ...
Three Games Down, Only 13 To Go!

The Booms
The New England Offense -- Besides the perfect symmetry of scoring exactly 38 points three games in a row, there's Tom Brady hitting his receivers at an 80% clip, with precisely 6 incompletions each game. His completions usually end up as touchdowns. Randy Moss may or may not be the most talented WR to ever suit up, but he may be the best target any QB could wish for. Like a cross between a giraffe and a gazelle, Moss's strides eat up yards like no other player, and as the amazing catch against the Jets opening day proves, even when he's not open, he's open. Best job in the NFL this year? Patriots punter.

The Dallas Offense -- QB Tony Romo leads a group that is scoring at an even higher pace than the NE Offense: 116 points racked up through three games, a faster start than any NFL club since the 1999 St. Louis Rams fielded a group that went by the name of Greatest Show On Turf, led by Kurt Warner in his prime, surrounded by Marshall Faulk and two great wideouts in Isaac Bruce and Tory Holt. Not saying the Cowboys are the second coming of the Rams, but all the pieces seem to be in place for a consistently explosive attack: a QB with the hair trigger release and accuracy, a running game with breakaway speed, and WRs like Terrell Owens who are threats to take it all the way on any given play. And whereas the Rams had Mad Mike Martz at the controls, the Pokes have had Princeton grad Jason "Redball" Garrett one step ahead of the defense at every turn so far in 2007.

The Pack Is (Almost) Back -- A convincing win over a still very talented San Diego Chargers team last week, lifting the Pack to 3-0, has made believers out of many "experts" that Green Bay is indeed ready for another shot at NFC supremacy. If the Packers continue their resurgence, it will be in large part due to QB Brett Favre's renewed commitment to playing error free football -- cutting down on the wild throws into coverage, the forced flings out of desperation. Oh yeah, and they're playing some very solid defense in the Bay as well, led by future All-Pro A.J. Hawk. Over the course of 16 games, though, until the Packers develop a feature back, it's hard to see them keeping pace with the better teams in the conference ... assuming there are better teams in the conference.

The Colts Defense -- The hustling, hard-hitting, fly to the ball abandon we saw displayed throughout last year's Super Bowl run is the same Colt unit that we've seen show up in '07 -- currently ranked 5th in the NFL in total defense. Everyone points to the return of SS Bob Sanders as the reason for Indy's great play in the postseason, but in my opinion the underrated cog in the undersized Colts defense is MLB Gary Brackett, an absolute tackling machine in the middle. Everyone expects the offense to carry the Colts again this year, and QB Peyton Manning has basically the same personnel that won the SB last year, but it will be interesting to see whether the Colts offense, currently ranked 4th in yards per game, or the Colts defense, with their 286 YPG good enough for 5th, finishes higher in the NFL rankings.
Vince Young -- Hard to believe there were so many doubters about this player coming out of college, where all he did was win at Texas, compiling a 30-2 record. His Rose Bowl performance in leading the Longhorns to a 41-38 upset win over USC may have been the best single game ever played in NCAA history, but Young lasted until Tennessee selected him with the 3rd overall pick in the 2006 draft. Since taking over as a starter for the Titans early last year, Young has won 10 out of 16 games. The Titans are 2-1 so far in 2007, with road wins at New Orleans ad Jacksonville and a close home loss to defending SB champs Indianapolis, and Young has thrown for only 426 yards, good enough for only 28th in the league -- and fewer than even the beleaguered Rex Grossman. But with VY it's a matter of making the key plays with his feet as well as his arm that win close games in the 4th quarter.

God's Favorite QB -- Detroit Lions QB Jon Kitna credited his quick return to action after suffering a concussion against the Vikings to the Hand of God, that well-known football fanatic and the inspiration behind numerous Hail Mary passes throughout the years. "I've never felt anything like that, and for it to clear up and go right back to as normal as I can be, is nothing short of a miracle," Kitna said. "I just definitely feel the hand of God. That's all it was. You can't explain it." Who knew the Big Guy upstairs had the time to affect the outcome of a Week 2 NFL matchup. Sure, a playoff game we could understand, but a Lions-Vikes contest? That's blasphemous. However, Kitna leads the NFL with 980 passing yards after three weeks, a pace that would shatter the all-time single-season mark, so who are we to judge.

Matt Schaub No Slob -- Poor Atlanta. First Sherman burns the city down, then Michael Vick torches whatever's left of its sports reputation with his abominable felonies against man-kind and canine-kind. But to show you the kinda bad luck this crazy town exudes, the Falcons develop a terrific backup QB behind Vick in Schaub, only to see him leave for a starting job in Houston and the accompanying riches of free agency. And so far the Dirty Birds' loss has been the Texans' well-paid gain. The relatively untested Schaub, still only 26, received a huge contract after Houston parted ways with the oft-sacked David Carr, with some openly questioning if Schwab was worth the big bucks. This past week against the Colts, playing without Andre Johnson -- possibly the best WR in a league suddenly chock full of real good ones -- Schaub completed 27-33 passes for 236 yards in the 30-24 loss. So far Schwab has completed a sizzling 75% of his throws, connecting on 63 of 83 attempts for 688 yards, and all of a sudden the Texans are 2-1 and a force to be reckoned with in the AFC South.
Redskins 1969 Throwback Uniforms -- We are big fans of teams wearing throwback uniforms. And despite the hated 49ers winning the Super Bowl following the 1994 season, we look back with fondness at that year because every team got to wear throwbacks at least once during that 75th anniversary year of the NFL. We loved the uni's the Redskins wore this past Sunday -- the ones personally designed by the immortal Vince Lombardi and worn in his only season with the club, 1969. The gold-ish pants and helmet were obviously meant to remind Vince of his championship days in Green Bay. Unfortunately, after the Skins blew a 17-3 halftime lead to their division rivals, the classy retro threads once again may be banished to the mothballs of history.

Genius Jon -- Nobody was referring to Tampa Bay head coach Jon Gruden as a coaching genius after last year's 4-12 disaster. Gone were the heady days when the mighty Buccaneer defense was literally dominating the league, and offensive-minded Gruden rode LB Derrick Brooks, CB Ronde Barber & Co. all the way to the top of the NFL heap in 2002. But soon the talent dried up, and the team went through a prolonged search for a franchise QB, and youngsters like Bruce Gradkowski and Chris Simms recently auditioned to underwhelming results. This year Gruden decided upon a veteran, 37-year-old Jeff Garcia, to run the offense, and it's rejuvenated WR Joey Galloway and the rest of the offense. Garcia has picked right up from his stunning play with the Eagles late in the 2006 season, leading the Eagles to an unlikely NFC East title after Donovan McNabb went down for the year, and into the second round of the playoffs. Brooks, Barber and CB Brian Kelly are among the few holdovers from the glory days, but ace defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin has finally been given an infusion of talent on that side of the ball after years of the front office all but ignoring defense on draft day. LB Cato June, the free agent pickup from the Colts who led them in tackles in 2006, has been a key addition, but it's MLB Barrett Ruud, a third-year player from Nebraska, who has been the biggest positive surprise so far in '07; his 24 tackles leads the NFL through three games, and his play is a big reason the Bucs are off to a 2-1 start.

Kevin Everett -- Best news of all on the new NFL season has nothing to do with touchdowns or picks, wins or losses, jacked-up hits or crunching tackles. They're all well and good, and part of why football has become the must-see spectacle it is. But the tragic sight of Bills TE Kevin Everett not moving after a special teams collision on opening day threatened to put a damper on the entire season. So it was great news to hear that Everett is making progress toward recovery. It's still too early to be certain Everett will ever regain full movement, but considering how bleak things looked just a few short weeks ago, the latest developments are encouraging.
The Busts
New Orleans Saints -- The collapse of the Saints a year after helping resurrect an entire region in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina has been as swift as it is stunning. And it's not likely to be getting better anytime soon, because their 0-3 record is no mirage. It's rare when a team follows up an inspired run to the playoffs with such an absolute dud of a season, but that's the fate of the team the entire football world had picked as the class of the NFC entering the 2007 season. Instead, like their chronically underachieving cousins in the AFC, the San Diego Chargers, the once-anointed Saints are digging themselves a hell of a hole. As if a devastating 31-14 loss in their home opener in which they were thoroughly outplayed by the Tennessee Titans wasn't enough, RB Deuce McAllister is lost for the season , thrusting Reggie Bush into the front lines of the rushing game. Will the hyped one finally justify his commercial portfolio, becoming an every down back, or will he prove to be, as his many detractors insist, nothing more than a glorified scatback -- a speedy halfback with good hands and some moves, but not the game-changer he was in college. But it won't matter what Bush does if QB Drew Brees continues his putrid play for much longer. His 4 INTs versus the Titans give him an astounding 7 for the year -- only 4 fewer than the 11 he had in all of last year. And his 1 TD pass this season leaves him 25 short of the 26 he tossed in '06. Coach Sean Payton is another coach doing all he can to shed the "Genius Coach" moniker many were bestowing on him. Not that it gives me any pleasure to see the sumbitch who ruined the Cowboys season last year suffering in such a marvelously excruciating fashion. I'm just saying...

E-Z Pass Defense (Bengals, Lions, Giants) -- The season is but three weeks old and already we've seen three porous defenses scorched for 56, 51, and 45 points. The Giants meekly surrendered 45 points to Tony Romo's Cowboys in week one, and it could have been worse if Dallas didn't choose to run the clock out. In week two, the Bengals played the role of innocent bystanders losing to the Browns 51-45 as legendary Cleveland QB Derek Anderson hung 5 TDs on their sorry asses, aided by a rejuvenated RB Jamal Lewis slicing the Bungles for over 200 large. And last week, the heartless Lions were posterized for 8 touchdowns, allowing Donovan McNabb and the Eagles to score TDs on their first 5 possessions on their way to an embarrassing 56-21 rout.
Norv Turner -- Hard to believe that people were giving Cowboys owner Jerry Jones grief for going with Wade Phillips over Turner to replace outgoing coach Bill Parcells. Norv will be a good influence on Romo, they insisted, just as he was with his protege Troy Aikman 15 years ago. Then the season started, and now those same people are wondering what the hell the Chargers were thinking letting Marty Schottenheimer go, setting off a chain reaction where both coordinators left for head jobs and, ultimately, turning the reins over to mild-mannered Norv. After going 14-2 in '06, the Bolts have stumbled to a 1-2 mark, and it's not just the bad start, it's the uninspired brand of football being put on the field the first 3 weeks. All-world LaDainian Tomlinson -- the fantasy player's fantasy -- is the biggest puzzle, with just 130 yards on the season and but one measly TD for the man known as LT. In the loss to Green Bay last Sunday, LT was seen engaged in spirited debate with QB Philip Rivers -- a fancy way of saying they were yelling at each other on the sideline. But that's the man known as Norval Eugene Turner for you: a real leader of men.

Rex Gross, Man -- In his last 17 starts, he's thrown 26 picks and lost 7 more fumbles. And you know what, he's somehow managed to play even worse than those putrid numbers would indicate. It's not like he's surrounded by a full array of offensive weapons, but you can't be that careless with the football and have any chance to win. Bears Coach Lovie Smith announced he was benching Rex for Brian Griese, effective immediately. Rabidly anti-Grossman fans insist they'd even settle for Brian's dad Bob Griese at this point, even though the retired Hall of Famer is in his early sixties and last threw a pass in the late '70s.

Eagles 1933 Throwback Uni's -- It wasn't just the sheer incongruity of seeing Philly sporting UCLA's familiar powder blue and yellow color pattern, or the fact that their helmets were without their familiar Eagle wing logo. What bothered us most about the Eagles wearing the uni's from their inaugural 1933 campaign is that their opponents, the Lions, played in their modern uni's instead of their own equally outdated duds. This breaks the first rule of throwback uniforms: it only makes sense if BOTH teams are wearing throwbacks.

Cowboys Statement Game

WITH A DECISIVE 34-10 road victory over the defending NFC champion Chicago Bears, the Cowboys moved their record to an unblemished 3-0 to remain atop the NFC East and, in the process, demonstrated they deserve to be counted among the elite teams in the entire NFL. Tony Romo went 22-35 for 329 yards and 2 TDs, and the Dallas defense picked off beleaguered Bears QB Rex Grossman 3 times. WR Terrell Owens may have had his best game in a Cowboys uniform, hauling in 8 passes for 145 yards, including one 89-yard drive where he accounted for 70 yards on 4 catches. Rising star RB Marion Barber rumbled for 102 yards on just 15 carries, reaching the end zone twice, while TE Jason Witten caught 6 passes for 90 yards.

As good as the defense looked, holding the Bears offense to 239 total yards, the story of the game was once again Romo, whose mobility and poise in the pocket was on display all night, flinging passes while on the run from every conceivable angle. Romo's precision passing overcame not only some costly drops by his own WRs, but 100 yards on 12 penalties handed out by a visibly incompetent officiating crew. No less an authority than John Madden was heard raving about Romo all night, at one point referring to him as "Superman" -- and who could blame him. In all 3 Dallas games so far -- wins over the Giants, Dolphins and Bears -- Romo has been indisputably the best player on the field each time.

The 27-year-old Romo has become one of the great NFL stories of recent years, an undrafted free agent from obscure Eastern Illinois has risen to the top of the QB heap, with his name now regularly mentioned in the same breath as household names like Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and Brett Favre.
Romo has thrown for 860 yards, with 8 TDs against 2 INTs (one on a tipped pass), and his passer rating after 3 games stands at 111.9, tied for 2nd in the NFL behind Brady with Carolina QB Jake Delhomme. Another telling stat is that in the Super Bowl era (since 1966), only Kurt Warner, with 3,213, has thrown for more yards than Romo's 3,172 in his first 12 overall starts.

Last night, the Dallas defense looked aggressive and played angry. LBs DeMarcus Ware and rookie Anthony Spencer combined for 3 sacks, and CB Anthony Henry picked off his 3rd and 4th passes of the year, taking one back all the way for a game-clinching TD in the 4th quarter.

The Cowboys next two games look very winnable -- at home against the 0-3 St. Louis Rams and on the road versus the also winless Buffalo Bills -- setting up a potential showdown of unbeaten teams in week six at Texas Stadium against the New England Patriots, who have outscored their three opponents by an overwhelming 114-35. So far Brady has completed a head-shaking 80 percent of his passes on the season, aided by the resurgent WR Randy Moss and newcomer Wes Welker.

Speaking of stellar QB play the numbers put up in yesterday's games were through the roof, resembling the laissez-fair "defenses" of the old American Football League. Either the defenses were resting or it has just become too easy to complete passes, but a glance at the stat lines shows a remarkable trend. Nine QBs threw for over 300 yards on Sunday, led by Detroit's Jon Kitna's 446 yards on 29-46 passing. Donovan McNabb feasted on the Lions' weak secondary to the tune of 381 yards on 21-26 passing. Brady was 23-29 for 311 yards and his usual weekly 4 TDs.

Even Atlanta's Joey Harrington got into the act, completing 31-46 for 361 yards in a losing effort versus Carolina. Kurt Warner -- remember him -- came off the bench for Arizona in relief of a struggling Matt Leinert (9-20 for 53 yards), hitting on 15 passes in just 20 attemps for a gaudy 258 yards. And Houston's Matt Schaub is justifying his huge offseason contract, hitting on 27-33 throws for 236 yards versus the Colts. There just weren't a lot of incomplete passes on this Sunday, is the point I'm trying to make.

Topping It All Off

TALK ABOUT EXCRUCIATING! Last week I wrote about the Phillies' horrible loss to the Braves where they blew a 5-run lead to the Braves over the last 2 innings to fall 8-7, calling it the worst loss of the year for any team. Well, since then the Phillies have played excellent baseball to get within 1.5 games of the Mets.

But the excruciating loss in question was the New York Yankees heartbreaking extra inning loss to the Blue Jays. They trailed a typically dominating Roy Halladay 4-0 before finally getting to him into the 9th. The Yankees scored 4 runs in that inning to tie it, including RBI hits by Robinson Cano and Jason Giambi, then lost it in 14 innings 5-4. That's gotta be like a dagger to the heart this late in the year. To make matters worse, Boston's 8-1 win over Tampa Bay extended the Red Sox lead in the AL East back up to 2.5 with about 10 games left to go.

Taking some of the sting out of the Yankees loss is the fact that barring a total collapse, they're pretty much locked into the Wild Card playoff spot. The division would still be sweet, just for the way it would fuck with the heads of all the dicks in Red Sox Nation, but the playoffs is still the playoffs. Most of the time it doesn't come down to the 7th game of a series anyway, so there's not all that big an advantage to winning the division versus winning the wild card.

For the Mets, however, the story is a little different. They've gone into the tank to such a degree over the last few weeks that if they DON'T win the division, they're in real danger of missing the postseason altogether! Talk about sweet if you're a Yankees fan. Oh the humanity if you're a fan of the Mets! They've been blowing big leads left and right. They blew 4-run cushions in back to back games versus the mighty Washington Nationals, and now are hanging on by their fingernails as the clutch band of brothers known as the Phils of Philly manage to squeeze out victory on an almost nightly basis, except for the games they play during the day, which are also usually wins. Most importantly, the Phils have owned the Mets this year no matter where the games are played, including winning the last 7 times they've met. That's what has kept the Phils in it till the end.

Speaking of the end, the Big Blue Trash Talking Crew is 0-2 in the brand new NFL season, surrendering 80 points over the first two weeks. The Jersey Giants have the worst locker room in the sport, with a deadly combo of combustible head coach, sensitive egomaniac players and, most potent of all, bloodthirsty sportswriters and already fed-up fans. The meltdown reached core levels late in the week, with Antonio Pierce and Michael Strahan displaying a total lack of class and acting like the spoiled millionaires found among pro athletes all too often these days.

Just two weeks ago Pierce was telling anyone within earshot how tight-knit and close the team was this year. Now after their bad start, Pierce first refused to speak to the media earlier in the week, then took to blasting an ear-splitting air horn at reporters who dared asked him about the Giants defense and why it has been so atrocious. Then Strahan, for the second week in a row, loudly chastised the press because he didn't like the tone of their questions. No kidding. Last week someone asked him about going for the all-time sack record against Brett Favre, who gift-wrapped a sack six years ago that allowed Strahan to set the record for sacks in a season. That ticked off Strahan, setting off this childish outburst: "How did I know six years later an idiot like you would ask me that question. I'd expect nothing less from you. And yes, I called you an idiot. You know better. I've known you how long? It's six years. You had hair six years ago."

Then this past Thursday, Strahan again reacted angrily when somone had the nerve to bring up how passive the defense has looked the first two weeks. Predictably, the touchy one let loose another verbal barrage at the reporter:

"Anybody can sit on the sideline and look at the bench and go, 'Oh.' That is crap. You know what? That is. It is just so disappointing to me when you guys had me come out here to answer questions and you ask stuff that is just... Be creative. That is crap. Coach (Tom Coughlin) answered it. Don't ask me what you asked Coach. I am not Coach."

And Coach sure has his hands full trying to rein in this historically disgruntled squad before his own unmerry reign becomes history. One thing we can state with some degree of certainty is that Tiki Barber and his coach-bashing, self-promoting ways technically may be gone, but what he says about the current state of his old team is hardly irrelevant, given the multiple forums he can still use to get his viewpoint across -- ubiquitously holding court these days on seemingly every other talk show. It's almost always more than just football when you talk about the Giants. This week, Barber used his satellite radio show to say the following about his former teammate:

"Now that the Giants are struggling, first of all (Pierce) runs away from it early in the week and now he's refusing to answer questions by being completely disrespectful to a group of people who are just trying to do their job. That's the job of media, ask the question. And you don't have to answer it. But don't be rude."

Hard to argue with that, even considering the source. Another ex-football star who's now a commentator is Sterling Sharpe. Here's what the ex-Packer WR had to say about Pierce setting off his air horn indoors to intimidate the beat writers gathered around his locker:

"It's childish and very trivial and totally uncalled for. Whether I caught 10 passes for 115 yards and two touchdowns or I caught one for five and we lost by 14, I was going to talk, because if you're going to talk when things are going good, I need you to talk when things are going bad. And that's how it was.

But don't be childish. That is so ridiculous. It irks me when I see guys act like that. That's ridiculous. Are you 14? Or are you 28, 29, making millions of dollars to play a kid's game. And you act like this?"

Now isn't that refreshing in a business where ex-jocks don't usually rip their own in that way.

With too many me-first guys like Plaxico Burress, Jeremy Shockey and Brandon Jacobs in the fold, the distractions around the Giants could soon become insurmountable. Coughlin had his shot to discipline when it might have made a difference, now he's like a substitute teacher who just lost the classroom. Looking back, they should have told Strahan that if he's not in camp and ready to play by the third preseason game, then don't bother coming at all. Because that sets a horrible example, and the result is Strahan's been a nearly invisible non factor through two games. He gets a break versus a Washington O-Line that's missing key pieces tomorrow, so this might be the game he makes an impact, if he's got anything left in the tank as a player, or any passion for the game as opposed to the money.

With a loss on the road versus the suddenly resurgent Skins tomorrow, the Giants record would drop to an ugly 0-3, and a flood of failure suddenly gushes into a tsunami of panic and finger-pointing.
__________________________________________
If there's a bigger douche than Marc Ecko in the public spotlight -- besides upper echelon, front-line jackasses like Rudy Giuliani and Donald Trump, of course, who practically invented being a fucking douche -- I've yet to come across him. Sure, the present willfully mediocre pop culture offers no shortage of assholes and morons to hate ... but sometimes you have a visceral reaction of unrelenting loathsomeness that cuts across all other strata of disgust. Such is the hatred I reserve for Ecko -- a wannabe wigger of epic proportions even before last week, when he publicly revealed that he had purchased the Barry Bonds record-breaking HR ball for over $750,000.

Now, that alone would elevate him to all-time douche-bag status if he never again made news. But then the sleazy publicity hound takes out an ad announcing his intention to let the public vote to determine what to do with the ball For instance, you can vote to shoot it into space, brand it with an asterisk and send it to the Hall of Fame, etc... Stunningly pointless!

Ecko's claim to fame involves being the successful purveyor of overpriced t-shirts targeted to the clueless fashion victims who make up the hip-hop culturatti. The fashion world itself is a stomach turning phenomenon that is best ignored at all costs, with its vapid models, ridiculous couture, and various nauseating parasites and hangers-on who constitute the industry.

But Ecko -- real name Marc Milecofsky -- would be easy to ignore if he didn't come across our radar screens for reasons other than his hideous accessories foisted upon an unsuspecting public. He's the kind of assface who, in a blatantly transparent attempt to garner street cred, speaks up for the rights of graffiti "artists" whenever these vandals are caught defacing someone else's property with their heinous "tags" or whatever they call their illiterate scrawling.

According to the always-reliable Wikipedia:

"In April 2006, Ecko released a video depicting himself applying graffiti to the left wing engine of Air Force One. The video, directed by ad director Randy Krallman, was a hoax, and was created “to induce you, the viewer of the video, to think critically about freedom of expression and speech and the government’s responses to the same.”^[13] However, others dismissed it as a publicity stunt.^[14]

"In the same year, Ecko backed seven young graffiti artists who filed a lawsuit against New York City, over its anti-graffiti law (introduced by Councilman Peter Vallone, Jr.) banning minors from possessing spray paint or broad-tipped markers.^[15] Ecko's lawyer Daniel Perez acted as counsel for the plaintiffs.^[16] In May 2006, District Judge George B. Daniels put in place a temporary injunction preventing the City from enforcing that law.^[17] Judge Daniels said the legislation is “like telling me I can eat an apple, but I can’t buy an apple, no one can sell me an apple and I can’t bring it to work for lunch.” In June 2006, the Federal appeals court upheld Daniels' decision.^[18] Ecko said “The motif of graffiti is one that has the right to exist credibly, and it is great to see the courts make a distinction between illegal vandalism and the motif of legal graffiti as a legitimate art form that cannot be pushed aside by legislators.”^[19]

Are these not the actions of a complete dope trying to ingratiate himself with the hip-hoppers, thugs and wigger wannabes who are likely to be seen sporting his crappy gear -- sold under cutting-edge brand names like G-Unit Clothing Company and Zoo York. Oooh, Marc, you're such a player. Douche.

As far as the HR ball goes, I completely agree with Barry Bonds this time when he calls Ecko "an idiot." Not only is Bonds right in this case, but you just know Ecko thought Bonds was such an easy target that mocking his accomplishments, however tarnished in the public court of opinion, would get Ecko some kind of positive response, perhaps even an outpouring of gratitude. But the public probably also saw through Ecko's shameless attempt to get his name in the paper. And most people probably just shook their heads like I did and mumbled "douche-bag " to themselves when they read that somebody was stupid enough to pay all that money for a baseball that nobody would want for free.

One positive of the whole affair is that it has spawned a terrific, clever Website -- www.vote756marcecko.com -- which gives us the chance to turn the tables and vote on the fate of Marc Ecko! Brilliant! It starts off by stating,

"WE ALL HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT MARC ECKO, WHO BOUGHT BARRY BONDS' RECORD-BREAKING 756TH HOME RUN BALL. Most feel he is an idiot who is just trying to stir up the pot. Others believe he is doing justice to baseball and America with his website (Dodgers fans). But we can all agree that he is definitely trying to get his name out there.
I have my own opinion, he's an idiot."

Now, Ecko is obscenely wealthy because the malleable MTV generation and its hip-hop counterpart will wear anything with a brand name on it that smacks of "street" -- paying through the nose while buying into a ludicrous mythology. But god is nothing if not the wielder of an often perverse sense of the absurd. For instance, in the same world of fashion that a sorry sack of shit like Ecko inhabits, He made a similarly smarmy bag of crap like Tommy Hilfiger rich beyond compare, with the Rod Serlingesque catch being: But you have to continue being Tommy Hilfiger for the rest of your born days!

Idiot sure seems to the epithet of choice when forced to confront a schmuck like Ecko. I just chose option B on the vote756marcecko Website: "Brand "IDIOT" onto his face, then send him to the Stupidity Hall of Fame." Boy, it feels good to make a difference.

"Massively Relevant"

SOME DAYS THE BEST PART of a newspaper is the Letters to the Editor section. Found an interesting one today in amNewYork, one of the free papers here in NYC, from Tim Clarke of Jersey City, NJ:

"The most outrageous conspiracy theories concerning 9/11 were deliberately disseminated to ridicule and marginalize those who dared to question the 'official' story. I don't have a 'theory', but I do know that I don't know the truth. Further, I think the truth can be learned. Considering the devastating effect of the faulty retaliation against a nation that was factually uninvolved in 9/11, I think it is massively relevant to mount a much more thorough investigation into the events of that day. A cursory reading of the official 9/11 report reads very much like "My Pet Goat."

That's about where I stand now. I don't see where the groundswell is going to come from to force another expensive government investigation, though, short of an earthshaking revelation or confession. It's not impossible, just unlikely. Evidence of a conspiracy is provable, but the details have not been worked out, at least to my satisfaction. Of the three books I've completed--

Flight 93 Revealed: What Really Happened on the 9/11 "Let's Roll" Flight; (Rowland Morgan);

The Cell: Inside the 9/11 Plot, and Why the FBI and CIA Failed to Stop It (John Miller);

The War On Truth: 9/11, Disinformation and the Anatomy of Terrorism (Nafeez Ahmed)

--one (Flight 93) is a little too out there at times, describing but not necessarily endorsing long-shot scenarios like remote controlled aircraft and disappearing planes and crews, yet on the whole the slender book still offers some legitimate challenges to the official myth; another (The Cell), published way back in 2002, takes the form of a gripping but standard issue detective yarn that leaves little to no room for the possibility of high level manipulation of the investigation, which would go a long way toward explaining a myriad of puzzling inconsistencies that are never quite addressed and which many reasonable people believe reveal a much wider-ranging plot; while War On Truth is quite thorough in cataloging a widespread series of amazing coincidences, leaving the readers to connect the dots for themselves, yet stopping short of laying out anything like a definitive timeline of the plot itself. Instead, what makes War On Truth so riveting is its extensive research into the key international events leading up to the 9/11 attacks, laying out the case for conspiracy in unflinching detail. Highly recommended even as an intro to the subject.

Playing Like A Keeper

IT'S ONLY TWO GAMES, but the Dallas offense certainly has held up its end of the bargain -- putting 82 points up on the board. QB Tony Romo has led 14 scoring drives in those 8 quarters: 10 TDs and 4 FGs. Sure, one game was against the defensively challenged Giants at home, but yesterday was a road game against a Miami defense that has been solid if not dominant for the past several years, and Romo still led those 7 scoring drives. And the 37 points surrendered by the Dolphins was the most their defensive unit had allowed since 2004.

Romo, last week's NFC Offensive Player of the Year, has turned the ball over only once this season. In the second half, the Dallas defense kept setting up Romo with a short field, forcing Dolphins QB Trent Green into 5 turnovers, including 4 picks by the beleaguered secondary, with 2 by CB Anthony Henry.

Next up for Romo is a big test versus Chicago on the road in another showcase Sunday night game. The Bears have a legitimate big-time D, but the Cowboys 2-0 start makes it less of a must-win so early in the season. Nevertheless, the Dallas D should continue to get well versus Chicago's struggling offense, with QB Rex Grossman at the helm.
Romo has 6 TD passes versus just one INT, and is right up there in passer rating with Peyton Manning, Carson Palmer, Tom Brady and the other stars at the position. The dimension that Romo brings to the table that the others don't is his mobility; last week versus the Giants he ran for a key TD, yesterday he took off for another 36 yards on 4 scrambles. Yesterday the Cowboys scored 2 TDs on 4th down plays -- one a 34-yard strike from Romo to Owens, the other a 40-yard rumble by Marion Barber, who rushed for 89 yards on just 14 carries.

It all adds up to the Cowboys having their QB of the future locked up for as long as they want, proving they made the right call on draft day bypassing Brady Quinn. Of course, Quinn could still have go on and have an above-average career, and the jury is still deliberating on Romo, who has yet to play even a full 16 game schedule. But with a few more games under his belt now, the sky remains the limit on how high Romo's stock will soar. One thing's for sure: with every good game Romo has, the price tag goes up on what it will take for Cowboys owner Jerry Jones to sign him to a long-term deal.

Let's leave the last word on the game to veteran Miami Herald sports columnist Dan Le Batard:

"The difference in Sunday's game? Miami had a quarterback with a past and Dallas had one with a future. Dallas QB Tony Romo is reckless and erratic and athletic and electric, and Miami's wheezing defenders simply could not keep up with him. He had more yards on four runs (36) than Miami's mediocre first-round pick, running back Ronnie Brown, had on 11 (33). Romo made no mistakes while Miami's quarterback made five."

That about sums it up, although I would quibble with Le Batard's use of the word "erratic" to describe Romo's play yesterday. If he "made no mistakes" then how could he have been erratic?

Bottoming Out

ANOTHER SEPTEMBER 1-1 has come and gone, and I was just not into the anniversary "celebrations" this year ... instead I admit to suffering some sort of 9-11 fatigue, being all 9-11'ed out at this point.

Last year I did the old remembrance of things past, recounting my story... one of millions who worked down in the area. Navigate the Warden's World archives if you're so inclined ... it's about as close to poignant as we get around here...

But this year I ignored as much of the hoopla and hysteria, not to mention all the hullabaloo and hubbub, surrounding 9/11 as humanly possible. Ironically, the last few months I've been reading a lot about "9/11" -- trying to get to the bottom of what really happened that day, beyond the obvious details of hijacked planes crashing into buildings: What led up to it, who knew it was coming, why wasn't it prevented...

Online there's a ton of resources a mere Google search away. I started with the curious circumstances behind WTC 7. On so many levels, the key may lie in the one building that was not hit by a plane, yet destructed along the exact same lines of the two structures that were directly impacted. But the oddities don't end there.

For instance, check out the BBC broadcast that reported WTC 7 as having fallen 20 minutes before the building actually caved; while the BBC correspondent is reporting, the building in question is clearly visible behind her and clearly still standing. When WTC 7 does fall, it has all the hallmarks of a controlled demolition.

But question marks and loose ends surround each of the 4 coordinated attacks that day. The truth lies somewhere between the official commission explanation and the more bizarre theoretical musings of the 9/11 "truth" movement(s). I'm working on several pet theories of my own. Toward that end, in addition to the plethora of good Websites and Internet documentaries on the subject, I've begun wading through some of the books already published since that fateful day that changed America forever. Given the seminal role 9/11 has played and will continue playing as far into the future as the imagination can wander, it's worthwhile delving into for as long as my interest remains. Whether or not I break the case wide open, only time will tell.

(Here's a related link courtesy of my buddy Paul down in FLA:
http://zeitgeistmovie.com/)

No wonder George Bush is hiding behind General Petraeus when it comes to putting a face on the disastrous Iraq war. Bush's unconvincing address to the nation last night gave new meaning to "mailing it in." Appearing wooden and speaking in a low monotone, the nominal, ersatz leader of the free world apparently saw no irony in using the word "extremist" about 70 times to refer to Iraqi opponents of the U.S. occupation. This while plans to use airstrikes inside Iran proceed apace, with our latter-day Doctor Strangeloves working overtime...

Week One War Of Attrition

IN AN OLD-FASHIONED SHOOTOUT, the Cowboys offense, led by QB Tony Romo, outslugged the Giants 45-35 in a Sunday night game that had just about everything -- everything, that is, except even a hint of defense by either team. Both offenses marched up and down the field with total impunity, with tons of big plays, very few punts and not a 3-and-out to be found.

But in the end it was just too much Romo in his return to the national stage. And there needed to be to offset a career game by Giants QB Eli Manning, who matched his Dallas counterpart by throwing for 4 touchdowns. By the end of the game, both squads were gutting it out in the oppressive Texas humidity, losing players left and right to injury and sheer exhaustion.

Dallas lost NT Jason Ferguson midgame from a defense that was already missing CB Terence Newman and LB Greg Ellis from the starting lineup due to injury. In the first half alone Giants' DE Osi "University of Nigeria" Umenyiora, RB Brandon "Big Talk" Jacobs, and a reserve DB were unceremoniously knocked out the game. Then late in the game, Cowboys rookie LB Anthony Spencer sacked Manning on a 2-point attempt, and the QB's right shoulder hit the turf first and hard. He couldn't finish the game, and it was just reported on ESPN-Radio that Manning is out for a month with what they're calling a bruised shoulder, although there's a good chance it's a more extensive injury.

Don't look now, but next up on the Giants QB depth chart is the Pillsbury Throw Boy, 285-pound Jared Lorenzen -- who resembles Jared the Subway Sandwich spokesman before he lost all that weight for the ad campaign -- followed by uber-journeyman (and former Cowboy) Anthony Wright.

THIS WAS A SWEET WIN because of who it came against -- the Cowboys' biggest rivals. Best of all was Brandon Jacobs limping off the field. During the week, in a quote that you best believe made the Cowboys bulletin board, Jacobs boasted that his Giants were gonna go down to Dallas and kick some butt. He fits right in the Giants locker room with fellow blowhards Plastico Burress, Jeremy Shockey, Mike "All About Me" Strahan.

The Cowboys defense was behind the play the whole night, forced to start CB Jacques Reeves in place of Newman, which was exploited all night by the Giants, with WR Plexiglass Burress hauling in 3 easy scores. By the end of the game, Reeves was giving so much cushion to Snoop Burress that he was often in a neighboring zip code. Luckily the Dallas O was clicking on all cylinders. Romo put together 7 scoring drives, running for a TD from about 10 yards out in addition to the 4 scoring strikes -- 2 highlight reel plays by Terrell Owens and one apiece to Sam Hurd and Jason Witten. Witten was simply Novacek-like in his ability to find the middle seam behind the Giants' linebackers.

Romo was 15-24 for 342, good for an incredible 23 yards per completion -- 3rd best in Poke history behind two guys named Meredith and Staubach -- and didn't seem to miss injured WR Terry Glenn at least on this night. Instead he spread the ball around after patiently going through or his reads or just firing the ball on timing plays, often on what seemed like one- or two-step drops.

The Dallas defense needs to get its act straightened out in a hurry, although the schedule gods will be smiling down on them for the short term in the form of two subpar offenses coming up -- Miami and Chicago -- although both games are on the road. In any event, they should fare better against Trent Green and Rex Grossman the next two games, before coming home to square off against Marc Bulger and the high powered Rams in week 4.

Tony Romo passed the first test of the year with flying silver & blue colors and beat back all the many doubters for at least another week. To me, and probably even to himself, he had nothing to prove, except to display a passionate commitment to the sport itself. All the same it's good to know that a major piece of the Cowboys puzzle is now in place for what should be a good long while -- once Romo's expiring contract situation is taken care of. Sure didn't look like much of a distraction last night. But to watch #9 taking command last night, putting his stamp on the game time after time, you know this guy is driven by a love of the game that you can't put a dollar figure on.

Round The Horn & To The House

THE NEW NFL SEASON is literally mere minutes away, so find your lucky seat, get out your favorite snacks, and keep telling yourself that this is the year your team reaches the promised land. Of course, only one team's fans will be right when it's all said and done. But this is the time of year when it's okay to believe in miracles, so Dare to Dream, as optimism reigns supreme.

On this first football Sunday, we get three good games in New York: Jets take on Pats, San Diego faces the Bears, and my beloved Cowpokes host the hated, detested G-Men from Jersey. As I can't bring myself to watch 10 consecutive hours of football, even on opening day, I will monitor the 1:00 game, while I check into the baseball action, specifically the Yanks-Royals contest starting at 2:00.

There is nothing that drags on longer than a baseball season, what with 162 games over six months plus, but for some reason I am still really into it this year. Maybe it's because the Yankees have had like 4 or 5 seasons rolled into one -- first getting off to that terrible start in April-May, slowly turning it around, then catching fire, hitting another lull, hitting rock bottom in a way by dropping 3 of 4 to the Tigers, capped by the dreadful 16-0 loss, only to sweep the Red Sox to get within 4 games of 1st place, and then stumbling against the pitiful Devil Rays before again righting the ship versus Seattle and KC. The division is no longer within reach, but the wild card is almost a lock. Going into today's action, they trail Boston by 5 1/2 for the division, but lead struggling Detroit by 3 and fading Seattle by 5 for the wild card.

LET'S HOPE A-ROD rides his historic hot streak into October. With his incredible 2 HRs in one inning earlier in the week, and another 2 HRs last night, he has 6 in his last 4 games and, with 51 HRs for the season and 20 games remaining, has an outside shot at catching Roger Maris for the all-time team lead. Considering he's a right handed batter, with no short porch in right field to shoot for in Yankee Stadium, it's an amazing accomplishment.

Let's also hope A-Rod doesn't remember all the booing he suffered through in '06 when it comes time to consider his next contract with the Yankees. If it's me, I may decide to leave for greener, less stressful pastures.

The Braves-Phillies game last Wednesday just might have been the best win and worst loss of the season for any two teams rolled into one roller coaster ride of a game -- the best game because the Braves game from 6 runs down in the last two innings, scoring the final 3 runs on a bases-loaded double by the legendary Matt Diaz in the 9th to win the game 9-8, while for the Phillies, it had to be the most excruciating loss in a season full of coulda's and shoulda's, blowing an 8-2 lead on a day the Mets had lost. It kept Atlanta's Nicole Richie-slim playoff hopes alive, while all but dashing the Phillies' chance of catching New York for the division lead. "I'm not believing that," said Philadelphia manager Charlie Manuel after the crushing defeat. "I totally can't believe that. I've never seen that -- ever. It's mind-boggling." Is it mind-boggling, Charlie -- or so darn real that you can't wrap your mind around it.

By the way, those 2 HRs in an inning for Rodriguez marked the first time a Yankee hitter had done so since Cliff Johnson in 1977, and only the fourth time team history it was done; the two other guys were Joe Pepitone and some guy named Joe DiMaggio. "Heathcliff" Johnson was a key cog in the late '70s glory years, picked up right before the trading deadline at the end of July in time for 3 Yankee castoffs; he clubbed 12 HRs and hit .296 the rest of the year, playing 1B and DH most of the time. One of the best in-season pickups of the modern era.

Unbelievably, even one of baseball's feel-good stories of the year, that of Rick Ankiel, has turned ugly, given the recent reports of HGH connected to his name. A lock for comeback player of the year, Ankiel was the St. Louis pitcher who literally couldn't find home plate as a pitcher a few years back. Now, when someone says "couldn't find home plate" about a pitcher, they mean he has control problems, is walking too many guys, etc., but with Ankiel, the guy consistently couldn't come close enough with his pitches for his catcher to even get his glove on it! Every other toss went straight to the backstop, making him a walking wild pitch waiting to happen. In fact, he has the dubious distinction of throwing 5 wild pitches in one inning, during a 2000 playoff game against the Braves, matching a 110-year old record for futility.

In one stretch in 2001, when he was sent down to the minors, he had an incredible stretch where, in 4.1 innings, he walked 17 batters and threw 12 wild pitches! Juuuuuuust a little outside! Similar wildness followed for several more years, and it got so bad he was sent all the back to the Rookie League to work out his control problems.

Then Ankiel gives up on pitching altogether, goes back to the minor leagues, and refashions himself as a position player. In 2006, he's invited back to Major League spring training, is sent down again, only to blow out a knee in May, ending the season and, for any other guy, putting the final kibosh on the old career. But Ankiel is not just any other guy.

He heads back to the minors one more time to start 2007, makes the Triple-A All Star Game as a starting outfielder, then is called up to the Cards last month and just starts mashing the ball. In little more than a month, Ankiel was hitting a robust .333, with 9 HRs and 29 RBIs, and getting standing ovations from the St. Louis faithful not only for his heroics at the plate, but also for his uncanny fielding prowess.

Then of course comes the black cloud, the black eye, the black mark. Hey, we're talking baseball here, so good news for the sport is inevitably followed by the other cleat dropping. It seems Ankiel had a little help along the way in the form of Human Growth Hormone, apparently just the edge that a desperate Ankiel was willing to turn to if it gave him that one last shot at the Bigs. One ironic note is that syndicated columnist Charles Krauthammer -- the conservative pundit who has been wrong at every turn concerning almost every aspect of the Iraq War, among other seminal issues, also felt the need to weigh in on Ankiel's unlikely and remarkably successful comeback to MLB, obviously jinxing the poor fellow in the process: "His return after seven years -- if only three days long -- is the stuff of legend. Made even more perfect by the timing: Just two days after Barry Bonds sets a synthetic home run record in San Francisco, the Natural returns to St. Louis."^[7] Thanks, putz. It turns out he was as far away from clean and natural as Bush is from intelligent and wise.

JETS JUST TIED UP THE PATS with a long scoring drive, so it's 7-7 early 2nd quarter. Enjoy it while you can, oh you fans of the J-E-T-S, because I see a .500 record at best this year for them. It's a harder schedule and the rest of the division has improved, including the favored Pats, who added Adalius Thomas, Randy Moss and Dante Stallworth to an already talented squad.

The Pats are my pick to make it out of the AFC East, joined by San Diego, Pittsburgh, and of course the Indianapolis Colts as the other division winners, with the wild cards going to Cincinnati and Jacksonville in that conference. The Colts return to the Super Bowl. Despite losing several key players, if anything the defense will play better this year, if the incredible showing versus the Saints on Thursday is any indication. They do fly to the ball, and then they get there they put a hat on you. And as even a casual fan knows, the Colts offense is a goddamn machine, and we don't mean that at all figuratively.

I'm not rooting for any team coached by Norv Turner, so that leaves out SD. The Pats have won enough for my taste, and I think the D is not as good as it was in the championship years. They will have to win their share of shootouts, and will turn the ball over this year with alarming frequency because of all the new WRs not being in synch. So I'm going with Peyton getting back to the Big Show for a shot at another ring.

IN THE NFC, my picks for the division are, surprise surprise, Dallas in the NFC East, Seattle in the West, Chicago wins the North, and New Orleans wins a weak South. Wild cards go to Philly and St. Louis, the Rams being mine and everyone else's consensus choice for sleeper team.

I have to go with the Cowboys making a nice run in the playoffs, winning at least a round, but the talented young squad may be a year away from winning it all. The main thing is getting to the dance, and with our improved offensive line and power running game, I'm much more confident in the Dallas O, even without WR Terry Glenn for at least the first two games, than the Dallas D going into the year, especially with Greg Ellis hurt and Terence Newman less than 100 percent. It starts tonight, hopefully with a convincing home victory against the Giants.

Uh, New England's Ellis Hobbs just ran back the 2nd half kickoff 108 yards, so it's now 21-7 in favor of the Pats. That's gotta be devastating if you're a fan of the Green & White. The Jets had 20 yards rushing in half number uno. That's not good.

Anyway, I've got the Colts meeting ... okay, I'll come right out and say it, I'm picking Dallas to get hot in the NFC playoffs, where every contending team has question marks, and return to the Super Bowl for a shot at a 6th Lombardi Trophy. Even if they lose to the Colts, it will have been a great building block year, led by the NFL's answer to Steve Nash, Tony Romo, #9 in your program and first in the hearts of Cowboys fans!

Now, Mike Golic, half of the Mike & Mike morning show on ESPN radio, also picked Dallas going to the Bowl, and as a former Eagle he has no love for the Cowboys, even a current version 10 or more years removed from since he last suited up. But he believes Romo is for real, and I agree with him.

Romo has become an easy target for the haters, with a lot of people insisting he's a flash in the pan, one year wonder, etc. The heartbreaking way his season ended, with the infamous bobbled snap that cost them a playoff win in Seattle, has burned its way into the larger pop culture, as has his dating of a former American Idol winner, Carrie Whatshername.

THE PATS JUST SCORED AGAIN, a 51-yard pass hauled in by Randy Moss -- the very definition of "troubled but talented athlete" -- despite triple coverage, making it 28-7. Moss already has 8 catches for 170 cards. Other than that the Jets stopped him pretty good so far. Pennington has been shaken up already, limping to the sideline, but he's gamely coming back in to give it a try.

Back to Romo. He has been the subject of praise and the object of scorn, often in the same piece by the same writer. People are rooting hard for him to succeed, people are hoping he falls on his face -- all because he plays for a team that NFL fans either love or hate, with no middle ground. Sean Quinn, a sportswriter from Metro, one of the local free papers, is already on my radar screen for the cheap shots he keeps taking at Romo. The other day he called him the NFC East Wild-card player, saying "Who knows how much of last season's late surge was actual ability." What the fuck else would it be, motherfucker? He had the league yards per pass attempt number, probably the most significant metric to gauge a QB in the modern era, and completed a stellar 65% of his passes in a wide open offense. It's not Eli Manning dumping off the ball to Tiki Barber 50 or 60 times in a season and watching the little prick turn a short pass into 20 or 30 yards. Even with that, Manning didn't have the completion percentage, or the confident swagger, of Tony Romo -- all of which must kill long-time Giant fans, who undoubtedly would switch QBs in a freaking New York minute.

I'LL GO ON RECORD HERE with Romo throwing for 30 TDs against 10 INTs, making it back to the Pro Bowl, along with TE Jason Witten, WR Terrell Owens, RB Julius Jones and 2 offensive linemen on offense, probably G Leonard "Bigg" Davis and C Andre Gurode. The D will be good enough to have 3 starting Pro-Bowlers of its own, led by LB DeMarcus "Every" Ware, NT Jason Ferguson and S Roy Williams, with LB Bradie James and CB Terence Newman going as reserves. And Dallas will send P Mat McBriar back. I know nobody gets excited about punters, but McBriar is a legitimate weapon: last year the Aussie boomed 'em to the tune of a 48.2 average, the highest the league had seen in 43 years. The Cowboys may also have something special in rookie K Nick Folk, who has a booming strong leg of his own.

Of course, to garner all this individual attention, your team has to win. Losing teams don't send masses of guys to Hawaii, no matter how much you excel at your position. Just ask Leonard Davis, the first round pick who toiled in virtual anonymity in Arizona as the Cards languished in the shadow of mediocrity personified. Some have called Davis a bust because he didn't make a Pro Bowl with the Cards. In his defense, he was an alternate one year, and you have to factor in the fact that there are only 3 guards on a Pro Bowl roster, and for the better part of a decade 2 of those 3 spots were manned by future Hall of Famers Larry Allen and Steve Hutchinson; Davis was battling it out with the rest of the conference's guards for that last guard slot. Just wanted to get that straight.

So I have the Cowboys slotted in for a 10-6 record, although I wouldn't be surprised by 11-5 or 12-4 if they get off to a good start. After tonight they have 2 tough road games, followed by a home game against improved St. Louis. If they can go 3-1 after 4, they'll be on their way to possible homefield advantage in the playoffs. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

"Nothing Will Be There"

DID YOU SEE where they're building new courthouses on Guantanamo Bay in anticipation of the impending trials of high level Al Qaeda operatives like Khalid Sheikh Mohammad, the accused mastermind of the 9/11 attacks. When the $10 million judicial complex is complete, it will be able to host up to 3 trials at once. Makes total sense. These suspects, which is all they are until ultimately proven guilty by at least some semblance of a court of law, have been sitting in severe restraints confined in a literal cage for up to 6 years in some cases; charged but not convicted of any illegal acts; undoubtedly tortured and abused; with no legal counsel -- and now the government is in some kind of haste to get the trials up and moving along. But remember, it's not fast justice, but good justice done quickly. McJustice, if you will.

Now, brace yourself, because this shocked me, absolutely floored me, never saw it coming, came out of nowhere. Turns out some company name of Halliburton got the original contract to build the prison back in 2005, part of a $500 million deal with the Pentagon. If you factor in other Halliburton subsidiaries, such as KBR's lucrative arrangements with the Department of Homeland Security, that figure balloons to the billions. But if you think this in any way influences policy decisions made by former Halliburton CEO and current Vice President Dick Cheney, well, that's just downright unpatriotic, you liberal terrorist appeaser you.

Won't be long before they start the bidding for corporate naming rights to the new judicial complex. I can see it now...

The Taco Bell Tribunal Tower.

The US Airways Adjudication Center.

In honor of George Bush's future think tank: The Super Fantastic Freedom Institute for Justice and Freedom.

Or maybe you wanna go all Orwellian: The Pat Tillman Institute for the Dispensation of Military Justice. Yeah, that sounds about right.

U.S. builds for future at Guantanamo by Jane Sutton

GUANTANAMO BAY U.S. NAVAL BASE, Cuba (Reuters) - Rows of khaki tents have sprung up on the old runway in front of the current court building and are being transformed into the temporary court complex ready to accommodate three simultaneous trials as soon as the appeals are resolved.

"What we don't want to do is have the process waiting on the facility to be constructed, so we're getting the facility in place, having it ready to go," Rear Admiral Mark Buzby said.

He described the complex as "expeditionary."

"It's not there to stay. It's there to come, do its mission and when the commissions are complete, whenever that is, it'll all go away, pack up the tents. Nothing will be there," Buzby said.

Nothing will be there indeed. You might say the same thing about America any longer taking the high road on the world stage, because even the monstrously depraved Nazis, whose victims numbered in the tens of millions, were treated more humanely after WWII ... which was the exact lesson, then as now, that a civilized world needed to learn.

Living Inner City

WE HIT THE BEACH, Rockaway Beach, on Sunday -- a day after the Great Shark Sighting of '07. Actually, it was a 6-foot Thresher Shark that washed ashore Saturday on Beach 109th Street, just a few short blocks away from where we usually plop our towels down on a weekly basis. Unfortunately, it turned up dead less than a day later with a large open gash on its underbelly, the apparent victim of a float-by mauling.

But on Sunday we had our own scare right on Beach 102nd Street: the reported drowning of a young girl. Around 30 lifeguards came running from all up and down the Beach to search for the missing youngster, while a police helicopter swooped low, very low, overhead. Turns out the girl was on the boardwalk all along. According to a lifeguard I chatted up, the girl's parents panicked; she told me that the dad had lost a brother from drowning years ago and immediately freaked out when he didn't see his daughter. Long story short, we went back to tossing the football around after a short interlude of feigned concern.

But the shark was hardly the only victim of violence in the City on the long Laborious Day Weekend. As if channeling the notoriously deadly Summer of '77, New Yorkers seemed to revert to form, confirming the worst urban stereotypes. But if rumors of a dangerously out of control city keep even one family of fat annoying tourists away, somehow it will all have been worth it.

Now, I hope you're sitting down when you read this next item, because shockingly violence broke out at the 40th annual West Indian Day Parade. I know, I know, hard to believe, but a "reveler" was shot twice in the leg. The news reports all stuck to the same tone: a beautiful day was marred by a few bad apples. On one broadcast, an overhead shot focused in on what looked like a giant mosh pit, with literally thousands of young men pushing each other in what looked like an orgasmic orgy of coordinated violence. Funny, but for whatever reason, cultural or otherwise, it's the kind of thing that rarely happens at, say, the Salute to Israel parade, or even the drunken spectacle that is St. Patrick's Day. Just saying.

On Staten Island, violence also marred a Labor Day block party, with a 4-year-old girl the victim this time of a stray gunshot. The disgusting part is that despite plenty of witnesses to this barbarous act, not one person has thus far come forward to aid the investigation so that police can nab the shooter. The likely reason, of course, is the fear of repercussion should word get out that some concerned citizen is cooperating with the police. Don't worry, though: Al Sharpton will somehow find a way to blame centuries of racial prejudice and white oppression for this outrage, instead of putting the blame where it belongs. Again, just saying.

But the worst act of violence this weekend occurred just a few blocks from where I sit a-typin' this entry. A hard-working 19-year-old Mexican dishwasher named Jose Sierra was shot and killed in Astoria early Sunday morning inside a subway station. Five people, now considered suspects, were seen running away from the Broadway N/W train station after shots rang out at 1:00 AM. Not that everything is all about me, but this is my blog, and that was my "home" stop when I lived in the neighborhood about 20 years ago. Now I live a grand total of 3 subway stops away, in the beautiful Ditmars Blvd. area. The consensus of those residents interviewed by on-location network newspeople is that the "neighborhood is very good," "this is a peaceful neighborhood," it's "unbelievable," etc. Trust me, it's not all that wonderful, unless the area changed a whole lot from when I was a resident in the pre-gentrified '80s. Then, it was overwhelmingly dirty, noisy, malodorous, crowded & rundown -- and I loved it, because my rent was a mere $235.40 when I first moved into rent-controlled apartment B4 at 29-08 31st Avenue, in a building incongruously called Windsor Garden.

Now, my theory is that the name "Windsor Garden" was chosen by savvy real estate honchos to suggest the lush, verdant acres and sprawling hills one might encounter while strolling outside an English country manor. Not only was there no greenery or garden to speak of, but the soulless, dilapidated edifice resembled an embattled fortress more than a royal castle. (Of course, people have a funny way of upgrading their own neighborhood when they describe it to outsiders, except for those posers who like to brazenly "romanticize" their neighborhood as more dangerous than it really is in a pathetically transparent attempt to garner street cred.)

Again, call me cynical, call me disturbed, just don't call me late to dinner, but if this prevents even one set of spoiled, annoying, three- or four-to-an-apartment-sharing yuppies from moving into my nabe, driving rents & food prices up, maybe some good will come from this after all. The other day I saw that a Greek deli had closed, and a sign on the boarded up storefront informed passers-by that a new sushi place was coming -- soon to join the ranks of overpriced coffee joints, boutiques and cafes. Great. Now, I've eaten sushi maybe 10 times in my life, while I used to cop spinach pies from this place on a semi-regular basis. So I've done the math, people, and I'm here to tell you it ain't pretty!