Life Is Sometimes Like An Overpriced Tuna Salad Sandwich

Day off today, Marty King Day, after five full days last week at AB, working in their institutional research department, responsible for going over all kinds of different investment analyst reports. Think it's working out pretty good so far, I know for damn sure that they're getting a very high quality proofreader for their end of the bargain. It's a job that I am eminently qualified for.

So imagine my chagrin and outright confusion when I got home last night and switched on my computer to check my email, etc. I always check the craigslist Writing/Editing Jobs classifieds first out of habit, and there was the very job I had started on Monday still being posted via another agency, something called Tiger Info. But make no mistake: it was the exact wordage found in the job outline sent to me by my own freelance/temp agency, known in encrypted acronym form as SWP.

It wasn't quite like seeing your own obituary in the local paper, but it did give me a Kafkaesque jolt, leading me to question whether I indeed existed in other than spectral fashion. Did I not just start last Monday in that very same position -- or was that my cursed doppelganger? Why are they still running the ad? Did I wear out my welcome already? Are they hiring another proofreader? You see the tricks my mind is playing -- stoking my own natural reservoir of paranoia? I wish I had never seen the stupid ad. I wasn't even gonna check craigslist that night, that's how much I thought I was gonna like working for AB ... what with Purity of Heart being to will one thing and all... I emailed my contact at the agency over the weekend and told him about the job still being posted, but I haven't heard back from him.

Anyway, another thing that sucks about being a freelancer is you have to get your time card filled out and sent to the agency, always gotta worried about getting it in on time for different agencies. Last Friday my supervisor was out, and he was the only guy apparently in the whole damn company who was authorized to okay my hours, sign the card, etc. So now I have to worry about getting paid this Wednesday. The first two days last week I get there early, only to have to wait in the lobby for like a half-hour because Security can't find my supervisor to get the okay to let me up. Finally I got an ID photo badge thing going on day 2. But I don't really deal with the supervisor during the day, who's the production manager. Instead I work closely with the other proofreader, a laid-back but quite reserved black guy. His door is always shut, and so as a new proofreader whenever I have a question, which is fairly often, I have to go through the ritual of knocking my knuckles on the door until I hear the requisite Come In.

I also interact with the 4-5 editors who work with the analysts to create these reports; the editors are all women, some working at home for at least part of the week, and so far I've got nothing but positive feedback from them, albeit in piecemeal fashion to say the least.
What I like about this job is it's busy in the morning, but there's tons of downtime in the afternoon. I'm all about the downtime if it's there, although of course time does tend to drag when you're not busy. I still don't have the computer in my office up and running, that's another thing I'm waiting on my supervisor for. Last week whenever my in box was empty and there was nothing else to do, I literally read over every back issue of their research reports that was in my office, probably 30 to 40 volumes cover to cover. In that way I used my time wisely, and now I am really up to speed on the kinds of things expected of me, and suffice to say I found tons of not only inconsistencies in these reports in terms of what their own style guide directs, but outright mistakes and errors. Let's just say they're quite fortunate to be acquiring my services when they did, with nary a moment to spare.

I have a small office all to myself. Everybody seems to keep their doors closed in my little wing, so you're constantly having to knock on peoples' doors; there are also a few desktop operators, outside our offices, who sit at cubicles and print out the stuff we read over, then make corrections based on our edits. It's all very low-key and quiet. There is a nearby kitchen pantry which is stocked with sodas, juices, bottled water, coffee, etc. That comes in handy, especially when you consider what happened to me on Thursday.

For lunch, I decided to check out the corner diner on 54th & 6th, goes by the name of Astro Diner. Well, I can tell you the prices are something out of the future, because when I ordered a mere tuna fish salad with swiss cheese on rye with lettuce and tomato to go, I was shocked to find that the bill they handed me along with the sandwich was for the atmospheric sum of $8.50, with another $0.70 tax added on for good measure, boosting the already overpriced item to $9.20. I did yet another double take on my way to the cash register, then decided I wasn't gonna encourage this sort of price gouging. I returned the sandwich to the waitress at the counter, and asked if there was some sort of mistake: surely the '8' was a '4' and the bill should read $4.50.

No, she said, it's $8.50, to which I responded: "Well, that's disgusting; even if I hit the Lotto I wouldn't pay that much for a tuna fish sandwich."

"You should have checked the menu first," she said as I exited the premises with a righteous sense of indignation. I guess other people don't bat an eye at paying these prices. I know the retail leases in Manhattan are absurdly high, but someone has to take a stand. I have no problem with it being me.

Anyway, back to the new job. Once I do get the computer operational, there are some other components to the job I will be expected to master, but it's nothing too complicated or beyond the scope of technical acumen; it's along the lines of spell checking a document for last minute quality control, attaching a set of disclosures to the end of a report, posting articles to the company intranet...how hard could it be?

I'm waiting for another small check from yet another agency, that check is already late and there's no mail today, so that sucks.
One good bit of news is that I completed a project over the weekend for that Astoria research report that I found on craigslist last month. The first document was 90 pages, I picked it up Thursday after work, then spent 3 hours reading it that night, another 2 1/2 on Friday night after work, and then Saturday finished going over it again and then making the corrections online before sending it back. Worked hard on it because I thought James needed it back as soon as possible, but it took me until today to arrange dropping the hard copy back off, and I did get a nice check for my 7.5 hours of work, but today all the banks are closed, even the check cashing joint, in honor of the afore-referenced MLK Jr.

So I've been busy, and there's supposed to be another document ready to proof as soon as tomorrow. If I could do even 2 or 3 such documents a month, that would be some nice little extra income on the side if you dig where I'm coming from...and I know that you do. If I do say so myself, I did a terrific job on the first one, catching stuff that only the most eagle-eyed of your proofreading class would even have a remote chance of finding. It's what I do. Thank god I use my powers only for good or else think of the havoc I could be causing...

Fickle Football Gods

Well, lemme get my NFL picks in, although for obvious reasons (i.e., Giants 21, Cowboys 17) my heart just isn't in it this week for the first time since the season started. A humiliating, nightmarish, season-ending loss to your hated division rivals will have that effect.

Late game first: Giants -- the hated division rivals in question -- visit frigid Lambeau Field to take on hometown Pack. Temps expected to drop below zero. I think the Giants string of road wins ends today at 9 games in a row; they run out of steam in the second half and I expect a big Green Bay win. Seriously big win. The score that keeps popping into my head is 49-10, so I may as well go with that.

The Giants' banged-up secondary is gonna cover that fleet of fleet wideouts? I don't think so; even in the cold snow last week, the Pack's passing game didn't miss a beat. And with RB Ryan Grant's continuing emergence, I don't see many punts today for the Green & Gold.

The Giants' offensive attack last week was indeed offensive in the second half, gaining a total of just 56 yards against the Cowboys. I don't see a whole lot more out of that bunch this week.

It's not that I like Green Bay as a Cowboys fan, I really can't stand Brett Favre if the truth be told, as blasphemous as that sounds. I don't like the Packers, but I hate the Giants with the intensity of a thousand suns. So I will hold my nose and root for Green Bay today, but then root against them next week. Unless of course they are playing the Patriots. My hatred of other NFL teams is a complicated thing... For instance, I know my boy Gatt down in FLA is a long-time Packers fan, but then again my bro Jimi the Greek bleeds Giant Blue.

The first championship game today, between undefeated New England and a banged-up but hot San Diego Chargers team, is foolishly slated to start late afternoon instead of the traditional for a damn good reason start time of 1:00, consecrated as such by the football gods -- who know best about such matters.

Looks like Phil Rivers is out at QB, which may be a good thing, then Billy Volek steps up; I've always liked Volek back to his days with ... well, whoever he used to be with. Tennessee most recently. He can play a little bit, as college coaches like to say. He's also not a bad Thrower of the Football, which is the latest cliche you hear being uttered by blowhards like Mike Francesa.

Wouldn't it be sweet if those same football gods picked today to dethrone the anointed Patriots from their league-sanctioned mission? Wouldn't it be so fucking sweet to see Tom Brady stalking off the field after the game, refusing to shake any hands, that trademark smirk wiped off his face? Yeah, I know, he'd still be a multimillionaire fucking a hot supermodel, but still...

Alas, that scenario appears unlikely, and since we're concerned first and foremost with the accurate prognostication of the game, put me down for Patriots 34, Chargerinos 23, in a game that's closer than the final score indicates, if that makes any sense. And at the end of the day it's poor Norv Turner forced to cross the field and seek out Bill Belichick's hand to shake.

A Dream Derailed

I'm not gonna lie to you: that was as tough a loss as this Cowboys fan has ever had to suffer through. Change a play or two, pick up a flag or three, and Dallas is the team moving on to the NFC Championship game -- not the low-class, lucky big mouths who call the Meadowlands Swamp their home.

Looking back, Tony Romo made a huge blunder by going to Mexico during the bye weekend with Jessica Simpson. What happened to the free agent wonder who ate, slept, and breathed football? We hardly knew ya, Tony. Sure there were some key drops, and the pass protection broke down late in the game when they could least afford it, but Romo simply didn't make the plays he was making during the first three-quarters of the year when they built their 12-1 record.

Now it's another offseason of doubt, second-guessing and scrutiny. It's a long road ahead just to get back to the playoffs, where more than ever the Cowboys' postseason drought will be harped on ad nauseum, which I think is Latin for " a lot."

I had a bad feeling about this game all week, and all my suspicions proved true. The only thing left to do is move on, stay away from sports talk radio and the submoronic New York fans (not you, Jim!), and get on with your life.

Speaking of which, I did just get some good news on the job front. Last Thursday I had yet another job interview, this one with a major financial company to work on their research reports, full time, 9 to 5, the whole nine yards. Had a good meeting with my contact, and then took the proofreading test -- a 4-page report that the guy said should take 45 minutes. It was tricky, but when I handed it back to him he told me it looks like I got almost everything. I felt pretty confident because, hey, that's what I do. Out of three interviews at financial companies for a proofreading position, this was the only one that asked me to take a test. How they make an informed decision without administering any kind of test is beyond me, but that's their tough luck.

Ironically, the freelancing lately had slowed down to a dribble; first Christmas week and then New Year's week passed by without a nibble. So I applied for unemployment benefits, qualified for them, and was fixing on trying to get by on a fixed income for a while. I figured if I could get a few off-the-books editing projects, things wouldn't be too bad. But working for a living is the way to go.
Friday I was on my way down to Varick Street for my first freelance assignment in weeks, had just gotten off the train and was walking down Prince Street, when I made eye contact with a woman who looked quite familiar. As soon as she passed, it hit me: that was Bjork, that crazy Icelandic singer with the anger management issues. But she looked real cute and kinda gave me a nice smile. As I passed her, I saw a few other people doing a double take. I asked a real cute Asian girl -- the city is seemingly full of them these days -- if that really was Bjork. She thought it was, and so I had my celebrity sighting verified. If I wasn't headed to work, I should have struck up a conversation with the Asian chick -- or Bjork herself, for that matter. Oh well, what's another missed opportunity in a lifetime full of them.

While I worked the morning going over a few catalogs, etc., another agency called and asked if I wanted to work another proofreading job in the afternoon. I said I did, and after I got out at around 2:00, I headed uptown to a place on 27th street and worked from 2:30 to 7:30. It was a boring job going over pages and pages of mutual fund reports, and it was on my way to this place when I got the call saying the investment house wanted me to start right away, this coming Monday. It's a 3-month project, with a 6-week review, but it was stressed that there's a good chance it could turn into a permanent position.

So I started this morning, jumped right into it, going through a 70-page research report, then a bunch of chapters for upcoming reports as the time flew by. Got some good feedback already. It's all right up my alley, all the stuff I did while toiling for The Wall Street Transcript came flooding back to me, and so I feel very suited for this position.

All I can do is my best. Which is more than the Dallas Cowboys can say this morning. Ouch! That hurt to write, it's painful to read, but one way or another it had to come out. I'm ashamed of my team today, and that's the worst thing a sports fan can say about his favorite team. If it was any other team but the Giants, it wouldn't hurt nearly as bad. But it was and it does.

No Place Like Home?

Damn, I'm running a little late here. First game, the under card, has already begun, with Indy holding a 7-0 lead over San Diego as the first quarter closes. I was gonna pick San Diego anyway, so let me do so, just have a hunch that Chargers are gonna stay hot. Colts are solid in every way, but something is just missing here, maybe the pure hunger they had last year in their Super Bowl run.

I have no preference in this game, don't hate either team or especially care one way or the other. I think Colts defense is a little better overall, although San Diego has more explosive athletes who are more likely to make a late game changing play. Whoever wins here, I will root for them like hell to derail the Pats next week. Just what I've been hoping for all year. Let's call it San Diego in a true squeaker, 28-27, and you were there.

Second game is being billed as the underdog Giants versus NFC East Champion Cowboys. Noting the Cowboys 12 All-Pro selections this year, Giants MLB Antonio Pierce tried to make it the All-Pros versus the All-Joes, although there is a fallacy to that line or thinking: it's not like baseball where one team outspends all the other teams; both teams spend the exact same amount under the salary cap. It's not my fault if the Cowboys have a bunch of exceptional young talent, starting with QB Tony Romo.

Now, Romo didn't have the easiest coupla weeks leading up to this game, what with the Jessica Simpson angle that this tabloid and gossip driven sports culture shamelessly ran with. In fact, has there ever been a second-year QB under more scrutiny than Romo has been, getting ready to make the second playoff start of his budding career, and just his 28th game as a starter period. I mean, did this kid do anything illegal, anything immoral to warrant this kind of backlash -- besides the cardinal sin of using some off days to take a break along with 3 or 4 other teammates? Yeesh!

Fortunately for Dallas, the game will be won or lost on the field. If there's an athlete who can handle this type of added pressure, I would guess it's the undrafted free agent who soared from obscurity to celebrity like a roman candle last year -- a Romo candle? -- with a refreshing blend of aw-shucks humility and brazen confidence. Today is either the latest stage in the upward trajectory, or another high profile setback like last year's Seattle disaster -- really no middle ground here when you're the starting quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys.

What's missing here is that Eli Manning is just one mediocre game away from his own avalanche of criticism and doubt. One bad game and all the negativity comes crashing back. There's only room for one hero and one goat. My money is on Romo to duplicate the success he's had when he was in mid-season peak form. With an offensive line that gave him all kinds of time in the previous two wins over the Jersey Giants ready to assert itself, I'm seeing a 29-13 score -- although a late garbage time TD may close the final gap to 29-20 before it's all said and done. As it is written, so let it be done...

Pick Your Poison

Let me get my football picks on record here before I have to run a bunch of errands. Waiting for the mail to come, then I gotta boogie.

Quick playoff stats. Four teams with the bye this year -- Dallas, Green Bay, New England, Indy -- have a combined record of 55-9. That has to be an all-time record.

Since 1990 in the NFC, home teams with a bye in this divisional round are 30-4 . In fact, the number one seed in the NFC has won the last 17 divisional round games. Roll that around in your mouth a while before you start dialing your bookie's number and riding the hot underdog getting all those points.

First game starts around 4:30, Seattle at Green Bay. I'll be rooting for the Seahawks against Favre and his boys, but do I think they can win and, more importantly, am I picking them to win? Yes and no, if that makes sense. I think Seattle's defense is very underrated, with big-time scheme disrupters Pat Kerney and Julian Peterson -- two NFL players who display a non-stop motor, come to play, leave it all on the field ... pick a cliche and run with it. If they can put enough pressure on, we all know Favre is susceptible to the pick when he forces things, and that could turn the game around at any point given how well Seattle's secondary has been covering.

I see Seattle playing a conservative game on offense, keeping it close, but in the end Favre will make too many plays. Also, the Packers get one of the more favorable whistles in the league; in other words, GB gets the benefit of the doubt from the officials, and I see that trend not only continuing but accelerating in the postseason. Look for a pass interference call here, a coupla key Seattle plays called back, and the NFL gets what it wants: the Packers in the spotlight with Golden Boy Brett advancing in a close one, 28-20.

Second game, mighty Pats hosting upstart Jags, with New England obviously heavy, prohibitive favorites. Jacksonville I believe had no Pro Bowlers; almost every other Patriot will be going to Hawaii or has at some point in their career gone there. The one positive the Jags have going for them is their physical play on both sides of the line of scrimmage. If the running game clicks, then I like their chances to not get blown out. If they get a few turnovers, I can see them sticking around into the middle of the 3rd quarter. But the football gods would really have to be smiling down on them this evening for them to make enough big plays to pull off the shocking upset.

Of course, that the football gods do exist and intervene from time to time is as undeniable as it indisputable. Maybe this is the week those gridiron deities finally decide to curse Bill Belicheat and the unbeaten Cheatriots once and for all. Maybe it's this week, maybe next week, or maybe ultimately in the Super Bowl, but until the season is over, don't count it out. This doesn't appear to be the week the Pats are cut down, however, so look for a final somewhere in the range of Patriots 34, Jags 17. I hope I'm wrong, but what are the odds of that happening? We'll find out.

Caper From Hell

BEST NEW YORK CITY CRIME STORY in quite a while involves an incredibly clueless plot hatched the other day in Hell's Kitchen. Two jokers thought it would be a good idea to cash their recently deceased friend's Social Security check, so they plopped the dead guy in a wheelchair and rolled on down to the nearest check cashing center, where their ill-conceived plan met its inevitable end:

They went inside to present the check, but a clerk said Mr. Cintron would have to cash it himself, and asked where he was, the police said.

“He is outside,” Mr. O’Hare said, indicating the body in the chair, according to Mr. Browne. The two men started to bring the chair inside, but it was too late.

Their sidewalk procession had already attracted the stares of passers-by who were startled by the sight of the body flopping from side to side as the two men tried to prop it up, the police said. The late Mr. Cintron was dressed in a faded black T-shirt and blue-and-white sneakers. His pants were pulled up part of the way, and his midsection was covered by a jacket, the police said. While the two men were inside the check-cashing office, a small crowd had gathered around the chair. A detective, Travis Rapp, eating a late lunch at a nearby Empanada Mama saw the crowd and notified the Midtown North station house.
(FROM: Corpse Wheeled to Check-Cashing Store Leads to 2 Arrests By BRUCE LAMBERT and CHRISTINE HAUSER)

Hell's Kitchen is where you'd expect this kind of desperate scheme to unfold if you know anything about the neighborhood. It still has pockets that give off that hopeless, unseemly vibe -- with methadone junkies, winos and other shady characters stumbling about in higher numbers than are usually found in your more gentrified sections of the City.

And so these two clowns look almost exactly as you would expect them to look -- shifty, seedy, down on their luck. It didn't take long for The Times to weigh in on the episode, with a piece entitled In Corpse Episode, Echoes of a Grittier Time, by Christine Hauser, that strikes a nerve, hits a chord ... choose a metaphor and let's get on with it:

Jimmy, James O’Hare, lived with Fox, Virgilio Cintron, in a second-story apartment on West 52nd Street. Both men were in their 60s and Mr. Cintron was ailing, so Mr. O’Hare often took care of laundry and grocery errands. He shopped for soda and sweets at Adam Altareb’s 99-cent discount store on 10th Avenue, counting out change or small bills at the counter. They regularly lined up for a free meal around the corner at the Sacred Heart rectory.

They were tolerated, even treated with affection, although they could be trouble: Each had been arrested numerous times since the 1960s on charges including robbery, drug possession and burglary. Their neighborhood was slowly improving, and in some ways, it was leaving them behind. “They are a throwback to the old Hell’s Kitchen,” said Paul J. Browne, a police spokesman.

In some nebulous way, for all its comic potential, it speaks to something more significant: reflective of a different time in NYC's distant history: one more sordid, yes, and even more chaotic -- but somehow an era that, at least looking through our rose colored rear-view mirrors, seemed also more genuine, more human, more real perhaps than the present age, which gives off a fin de siecle vibe that permeates the streets that in some ways is more offensive than the stench of an old alkie's breath.

Burying The Lead

Out at Valley Ranch today, where the Dallas Cowboys are preparing for their playoff showdown with the New York/Jersey Giants, a Mexican "correspondent" by the name of Ines Sainz scored an exclusive interview with injured WR Terrell Owens. Sainz also made quite a splash during media week in the lead-up to last year's Super Bowl, to the point where players were seeking her out for interviews. One look at her and you'd see why. So in case you were wondering, after a little Googling and another, um, activity that ends in -ing, we present some of the more flattering pictures of Ms. Sainz we could find on the Web. As you'd expect here on Warden's World, it's all in the name of expanding your horizons...

























What the hell were we talking about?! Football or something?

One Immortal Goose

He played for 9 different teams in his 22 big league seasons, spanning 1972-1994, but the sight of Goose Gossage and his trademark Fu Manchu mustache mowing down batters in a New York Yankees uniform from '78-'83 is how most will probably remember the closer's career. Gossage stood 6'3" but must have seemed at least half a foot taller to hitters. It couldn't have been a pleasant task to face the scowling man waiting to fire his blazing fastball toward home plate. Now he is officially Cooperstown bound.

One of the most intimidating players to ever climb a pitching mound, Richard Michael Gossage got the long-awaited call today from the Baseball Writers Association, informing him that he finally garnered enough votes to be elected to the Hall of Fame. The 56-year-old last pitched in 1994 for Seattle, and will be the sole player inducted this year. Long time coming, and well deserved.

And Then There Were Eleven

Down to 11 games left in another great NFL season. Of course, when your favorite team the Dallas Cowboys is 13-3, it's a helluva lot easier to throw around words like great to describe the spectator spectacle that is pro football. One of the best coupla days in the sports calendar is about to begin.

Wild Card Weekend. 8 teams going at it, winner take all, while division winners New England, Indianapolis, Dallas and Green Bay sit back and take it all in.

In the Saturday games, I like Seattle to win a close game. Think they'll get a fairly big lead early, like 20-7 or 17-3, then do just enough to hold on and beat the Redskins something like 28-24. Matt Hasselbeck throws for 3 TDs. Just one man's considerably informed opinion.

Saturday night, Men of Steel hosting division rival Jaguars. Everyone is picking the Jags in this one, based on how both teams played in December, I guess. But I like the Steelers to play one of their best games of the year, which will be just enough to hold off the upstart Jags, one of the more physical teams in the NFL. Big Ben throws for 3 scores, Steelers over Jags, 31-26. Put it in the books.

Tomorrow you get Giants visiting Tampa Bay, and here the bandwagon is all in the direction of the New Jersey Eleven, based in large part on how well the G-Men played in their 38-35 loss to the Patriots -- one of the best games of the season. Let's hope we get even two games that good here in Wild Card Weekend. Here I gotta like the Bucs. Even if I didn't I wouldn't tell you. The Bucs have to be the league's most unknown good team -- with no national TV appearances, if memory serves. But I like them to hold down the Giants offense and do what no team has been able to do: shut down Brandon Jacobs and the rest of the running game. Which will allow them to do what many teams have done recently: force Eli Manning into more than his share of mistakes. Which translates into 3 picks and a lost fumble. Swashbucklers 27, New Jersey Eleven 16, with Gentle Jeff Garcia throwing 3 of his own TD tosses, 2 to Gellin' Joey Galloway.
And finally, San Diego finished at 11-5 after stumbling out of the gate to a 1-3 mark. By anyone's math, that's finishing with a 10-2 mark, which is an achievement even in their watered down division (Broncos, Chiefs, Raiders). They picked off the good Manning 6 times in handing the Colts one of their rare defeats over the last few years. LaDainian Tomlinson led the NFL in rushing with 1,474 of the quietest yards in NFL history and of course a bunch of TDs -- overshadowed for most of the season by Gentleman Tom Brady, Brave Brett Favre, Terrific Tony Romo and other feel-good stories of the past football season. This game has all the earmarks of the weekend's big blowout. The Chargers have been playing with a chip on their shoulder for the last 12 weeks, and they prove they're a force to be reckoned with in this year's Super Bowl tournament. Meanwhile, the Titans may be better off with Kerry Collins at QB instead of inconsistent Vince Young, but in this one, it's Philip Rolling Rivers chucking for 2 TDs while who else LT runs for 3 in a 38-20 laugher. Titans are still a few WRs short of advancing, and may have a good old fashioned Quarterback Controversy on their hands. Enjoy.

Beautiful Imperfection?

ONE HOUR BEFORE KICKOFF, Giants-Pats. For the first time in either recent or distant memory, I am rooting, hard, for the New Jersey Eleven to dethrone or at least derail the Pats' so far perfect season. There are numerous reasons for this, in fact a series of innumerable ones, but this is neither the time nor place to sort these matters out. Suffice it to say I detest everything Boston-related with a passion that borders on the ludicrous. I hate the Red Sox and their annoying Nation, i detest the Celtics (it's hard to hate Kevin Garnett, but there's nothing wrong with hating on both Ray Allen and Paul Pierce, trust me). Hell, I might even take the British Redcoats and the Over now against the Colonists in the Boston Massacre if they did it all over again.

Then there's the Boston Cheatriots, with a paranoid, joyless, almost Nixonian coach, a confirmed steroid abuser at safety, Rodney Harrison, and a star QB who got one model pregnant, ditched her for a newer version, and smirks his way through life to the point where if this was a Hollywood movie, you know this guy would get his big-time comeuppance any time now.

This game featuring the 15-0 Patriots and 10-5 Giants was at first to be shown exclusively on the NFL Network -- ranking in fan popularity right behind Al-Jazeera TV. But somehow over the past few days, it was announced that this game will be broadcast over NBC, CBS, Fox News, Nickelodeon, the History Channel, the Sundance Channel and on both Food Channels. In fact, none other than Rachael Ray and Bill O'Reilly are set to man the booth in an epic battle of dueling loudmouth annoying cable TV personalities.

The Giants have two things going for them: a power running game and perhaps the league's best pass rush. With New England missing two starters on their offensive line, their own biggest strength is in danger of being nullified -- that's right, ahead of pretty boy Tom Brady, malcontent Randy Moss, and their front seven on defense, the absolute key to this team's offensive dominance all year long is an alarmingly efficient offensive line. The first 10 games of the year Brady had more time to survey the field than perhaps any QB in the history of the game -- more than even Dan Marino in his prime with the Dolphins, or Troy Aikman with the Cowboys in their Super Bowl years, this guy is guarded more closely than President Bush visiting Iraq.

So let's see history made, all right -- the end of history. With a ridiculous four Sports Illustrated covers under their belt this season alone, most right-thinking football fans will be rooting for the underdog Giants to pull off the upset. Hopefully the rumors are exaggerated and tens of thousands of Giants season ticket holders did not sell their tickets to this game to New Englanders. But then again, what better way to enjoy this first New England loss than to see it reflected in the disappointed mugs of spoiled Cheatriot fans? Just asking...

Prediction: Giants 24, Patriots 20

Thanks For Coming, Now Please Leave

Merry and Happy to You and Yours.

All right, now that we've gotten THAT out of the way, let's turn to a favorite subject of us all, someone we literally wouldn't be here without: me. Yeah, like you didn't know that was coming.

This morning I had my last interview of this little round of interviews ... two last week, one today, so far one for two, with today's obviously still up in the air.

Last week, Wednesday, had an interview at BS for their highly (not) coveted third shift, what is known in the parlance of the day as the Graveyard Shift. In this case it would have been four nights/days a week, Tuesday to Friday: midnight to 10am. Maybe they call it the graveyard shift because too much of that shit will kill you. My interviewer was a reserved, poker-faced black professional woman ... hard to read her, but since I didn't get the position, it would be silly even for a person like me (who can harbor a grudge at the drop of a dirty look) to rehash, or even to hash period. 'Tis water under the bridge.

Second interview, Wednesday, a local position based here in Astoria. This one I scoped on craigslist, while BS and the place I went today, RSM Mc-something, came through one of my now five freelance agencies. Anyway, this guy puts out a research report, some kind of library science deal, out of his apartment up on 31st Avenue, so I would work a little at his place, then when I get the hang of it, I could do it here.

Anyway, there was an Asian woman working in the other room when I got there, I just assumed it was his girlfriend or wife, and we all chatted for a while. At the end of it, I must have done something right, so he said he'd give me a shot or try me out, and so that's some modicum of good news. I just called him before and he said he'd have something ready for me early next week, so I jotted it down in my Genuine Leather Lett's of London portable appointment book, patent pending, which I received as a gift yesterday. Thanks, Holly. "Fill it with jobs!" you said, and I sure hope to.
Today I put on my conservative blue pinstripe suit, red power tie, black Rockports and hit the bricks for my 11:00 date with destiny. After passing the typical post 9/11 Large Manhattan Office Building security, I headed upstairs, interfaced with the stunningly attractive young black receptionist, and signed the visitors' registrar, noting that two other people, at 10 and 10:15am, had signed in to see the same woman. My dreaded competition! I cursed them and their families going back several generations, and then for good measure put a powerful pox on their chances, before sitting down in one of the sumptuously plush leather easy chairs arrayed geometrically in the lobby area and starting to focus on my best sales pitch. After all, I would need to summon all my relevant skill sets if I was going to successfully pull this off, because lord knows I have my hands full being me on a semi-regular basis, and now I would have to convince someone else that I was indeed job-worthy.

Finally I met the supervisory person, an attractive woman in her early 40s if my eyes weren't playing tricks on me, and after a perfunctory back and forth during which she yawned unapologetically -- I guess I have that effect on people -- she passed me off to a pair of actual proofreading specimens. More conversation, with me playing the part of the earnest, sincerely interested, grateful applicant, treading a fine line between eagerness and desperation, to a fare-the-well ... a fine fare-the-well if truth be told.

Have a better feeling about this one. It's an accounting firm, so there is some of what is called "cross checking" numbers in the business. What shift I would work at first should I be offered the job was never discussed; I told them I was okay with wherever they wanted to use me -- day shift, 4 to midnight, even 10pm to 6am -- although I told them I prefer one of the first two shifts if I was given a choice.

Freelancing really slows down during the dreaded holiday season. I worked last Friday at LT, then off Monday Christmas Eve, obviously Christmas day, which I spent with my sister on Long Island, then today I had the interview and called Robert at that research company, with the rest of the week still open ended. Late last week I called all five of my freelance agencies, let them know I was available these next two weeks, so get me some work, people! This is all the more pressing a matter because last week LT, my main client, the company that over the last 18 months has used me more than all the others combined, is phasing out freelancers over the coming months. In fact, the print department is itself being phased out, and so the ads and such generated by that department will be originating in the L.A. offices. That sucks, and yet it's another concrete reason to hate Los Angeles. There's always a positive if you're sick enough to look real hard.

Over the last few weeks I've gotten calls from two of my other mainstay freelance clients, and they've given me some work recently, but not enough, never enough work. I thought I would be a lot busier with all the new freelance agencies I've registered at in the last few months, but it still hasn't resulted in the workload I expected. That's why I'm leaning toward taking a full-time assignment with one company. I'm getting to the point where I'd rather know where I'm going to work tomorrow before the end of the day before, if that makes any sense to all you non-freelancers.

Had a Christmas party at one of my agencies last week, and it was cool but not as good as the year before. Different place, different vibe, fewer contacts made, etc. Maybe it was also because I had to tear myself away from a still functioning open bar situation because of an early interview the next day -- the one that, predictably, I didn't get anyway.
I don't mind going on interviews, what I really hate about the current online-driven employment market is when you don't even get a call back or really any feedback at all regarding why you didn't get the position. It becomes a waste of time in that way, whereas if you got something more than the hated "they decided to go in another direction" or "they're gonna pass" -- which I got last week from a woman at one of the agencies -- at least you feel like you're sharpening your skills in some way or fine-tuning your whole mojo. This is the worst of all possible worlds, a Kafkaesque exercise updated to Seinfeld-ian proportions. I'll leave you with that and let you get on with your business. Thanks for being you. I know I was.

The "Far Too Much Time On My Hands" NFL Report

WOW! The NFL Pro Bowl teams were announced yesterday, and 11 Dallas Cowboys were selected to represent the NFC in Hawaii. Sure, they had the best record in the conference for most of the year, but that's still a ton of players -- 7 starters and 4 reserves. TE Jason Witten, WR Terrell Owens, OL Leonard Davis, Flozell Adams and Andre Gurode are the starters on offense, while LB DeMarcus Ware and K Nick Folk get the nod at their positions; backups include RB Marion Barber, QB Tony Romo, CB Terence Newman and S Pat Hamlin.

For all you Cowboys haters out there, there's even more bad news: S Roy Williams is likely to get a spot on the team replacing deceased Redskins S Sean Taylor -- making it an even dozen Dallas Cowboys on the NFC squad. Now they better make some noise in the upcoming playoffs, or there will be a huge and well deserved backlash. Even the so-far-perfect Patriots will only send 9 of their players to the AFC. But part of the process is directly related to popularity, and we know the Cowboys aren't called America's Team for nothing.

Not that I'm prescient or anything, but in my preseason picks, posted on this very blog back on September the 9th, I did have 10 'Boys going, along with my having Dallas going 12-4 if they got off to a quick start, along with Tony Romo throwing for 30 TDs on the year.

Specifically, without designating starter or backup in that post, I had Romo, Witten, T.O., Bigg Davis, Gurode, Ware, NT Jason Ferguson (injured in first game), Williams, RB Julius Jones (wishful thinking on my part), and P Mat McBriar, and I also made a case for rookie K Nick Folk being special, which he has been. It's all there in the Warden's World archives in black and white, or more technically it's the exact series of 1's and 0's that make up the digital content you see arrayed before you.

Cowboys lost their second game of the season, 10-6, to a fired-up Eagles squad, with some Dallas partisans (and players) affixin' the blame for the loss squarely on the comely (and come-worthy) shoulders of one Jessica Simpson -- spotted during the game in a Texas Stadium luxury wearing a Cowboys jersey with #9 in pink while Tony Romo suffered through his worst game as a pro: 13 for 36 with 3 picks.

Even before he banged his thumb early in the 3rd quarter, Romo's passes were often wildly off the mark. But in my opinion, a huge dose of blame has to be placed in the lap of offensive coordinator Jason Garrett, who, on a day when his QB just didn't have his A-game, all but abandoned the running game. With the Eagles obviously in no danger of pulling away, Garrett called only 14 running plays, and just 4 total in the second half -- an absurd imbalance when you consider Romo was nursing a sprained thumb and their starting center also had to leave the game. This has been a trend all year with Garrett, and he's been bailed out all year with his risky play calling because Romo had been so sharp up until Sunday. The running game has been an afterthought most of the season, something you do to give Romo a chance to catch his breath, rather than a real strategy to set up the defense and keep them guessing.
This is a trend not confined to Garrett, but has spread league-wide with often predictably disastrous results. The Giants loss to the Redskins last Sunday was a case in point. Despite a swirling wind and freezing temperatures at the Meadowlands, offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride called for a mind-boggling 52 Eli Manning passes, 34 of which were not completed -- tying a 40-year record for futility set by Joe Namath.

Now, Eli Manning is not the most accurate of NFL QBs (55.7% completion rate on the season), but to be fair, by some estimates 12 of Manning's throws were on target but dropped by Giants' receivers -- but that has to be factored into a game plan where weather is such a big factor. And it wasn't like the Giants were having no success running the ball. Their bruising RB Brandon Jacobs rumbled for 130 yards on 25 carries, better than a 5-yard average, which will win you a whole lot of games. But Gilbride tried to get too fancy, and instead of feeding Jacobs, he called for those 52 passes by Manning (one off Manning's career high of 53 attempts set in 2005), many of which were thrown in the face of a stiff wind.

By comparison, Manning's counterpart, Todd Collins of the Redskins, had less than half the attempts, going 8-25 for 166 yards, just 18 total passing yards less than Eli had, in 27 fewer attempts. Collins by the way started his last NFL game almost exactly 10 years ago, so there was good reason to expect some rust from him.

In fact, just to play with the numbers a little more, the combined passing stats of the four NFC East starting QBs last Sunday -- Manning, Collins, Romo and Donovan McNabb (23-41 for 208 yards) -- amounted to a paltry 62 completions in 154 attempts, just over a 40% completion rate. That's ugliness personified.

Going against this trend, Saints QB Drew Brees was one exception to the incompletion-fest witnessed around much of the league's stadia (that's Latin for stadiums). The underrated Brees has had an up and down season after least year's stellar campaign, and against the Cards he went a remarkable 26-30 for 315 yards and 2 TDs. Earlier in the year he put together a sparkling 66-88 stretch, and now is doing all he can do save the Saints season: for the year he's completing passes at a 68.7 clip (second only to Tom Brady's 69.2), with 25 TDs against 15 INTs, while playing without his two top RBs (Reggie Bush and Deuce McAllister are both out for the year).
Best use of fines by the NFL in a long time has to be those penalties meted out to the Atlanta Five -- that clueless flock of Falcons who thought it would be a nifty idea to show their solidarity with accused dog murderer Mike Vick by revealing home made signs supporting their ex-teammate during their one-sided loss to New Orleans December 10th on Monday Night Football. Their misguided show of morality cost them fines ranging from $7,500 to $10,000 for offenses that the NFL termed "displaying an unauthorized personal message" -- which quite frankly sounds like Iron Curtain terminology straight out of Stalinist Russia. But even the old Soviet Kremlin was probably right once in a while, as the NFL is in this case.

The latest Falcons loss was a typical stinker -- a 37-3 setback at the hands of the Tampa Bay Bucs that had all the earmarks of a team quitting on itself. In many cases, a team's lack of will shows up first in special teams, and sure enough Tampa Bay finally got the first kickoff return for a score in the 31-year history of the franchise -- a weird statistical anomaly right up there with no New York Mets pitcher ever throwing a no-hitter.

Now, Bobby Petrino himself flat out quit on the 3-11 Falcons right after the game, turning tail and leaving town without addressing the team and telling them of his plans to return to the college game. But Joe Horn (serial jackass), Roddy White (classic bust), DeAngelo Hall (most despised NFL-er?) and the rest of the sorry-ass Falcons had long ago tuned out Petrino and his coaching staff, and now they are truly a rudderless mess of a franchise. And where do teams who are hopelessly barren of talent at most positions turn but that noted football guru and shopper of groceries Bill Parcells, who has thus far taken four such teams from worst to first: the Giants, Patriots, Jets and Cowboys all making the playoffs under his trademark brand of stern, gruff guidance.

In fact, just a cursory glance at the Cowboys who made this year's Pro Bowl roster is a testament to Parcells' undeniable personnel acumen. We all know the story of how he mentored the undrafted Tony Romo, plucking him from the ranks of the unknown, nurturing Romo while stashing him on the 53-man roster until he was game-ready, and then turning to him last year when Drew Bledsoe faltered. The rise of Romo, whether you love or hate Dallas, is merely one of the most unlikely sports stories in recent years, and Parcells deserves the lion's share of the credit for sticking with Romo when other coaches would probably have given up on him at a much earlier point.

Among the other Cowboy Pro Bowlers directly tied to Parcells, RB Marion Barber was a 4th round pick and TE Jason Witten a 3rd rounder during his reign. Parcells can also be credited for turning DeMarcus Ware into the all-around player he is today -- such that he is a leading candidate for NFL Defensive Player of the Year.

So while first-year coach Wade Philips rightly gets credit for his leadership skills in guiding the Cowboys to their 12-2 record, let's not forget that Parcells built the roster almost from scratch. And while his 34-32 overall record has been judged a disappointment, keep in mind that he inherited a team that was just 15-33 in the three previous seasons. That's a pretty good turnaround, and so who would be surprised if he turned around a morosely moribund Atlanta franchise, sooner rather than later.
My First Annual "Worst Choice of Words" Award goes hands-down to NBC's Al Michaels, who, during an appearance last week on New York's Mike and the Mad Dog radio show following the Colts-Ravens game, said the following, bringing insensitivity to new depths: "Tony Dungy would've killed himself if he left Peyton Manning in the game and he got hurt!" Dungy's troubled 18-year-old son, of course, committed suicide two years ago. Way to keep sports in perspective there, Al!

By The Numbers

The Strange, Random Symmetry of Week 14 in the NFL ... Crunching the Stats, Checkin' 'Em Thrice

None, Zip, Zero, Nada, Zilch -- Number of eventual playoff teams faced by the Miami Dolphins during undefeated 1972 season.

None, Zip, Zero, Nada, Zilch -- Number of games period won so far by 2007 edition of Miami Dolphins.

Wee 3 -- Total number of yards gained on 14 carries by rookie sensation Adrian Peterson in Vikings' 27-7 win over San Francisco, which goes to show you don't need to be at your best to beat the 49ers these days.

7th Heaven -- Seven straight games with 100+ passer ratings for Cowboys QB Tony Romo ... seven straight wins for Dallas ... seven 300-yard games for Romo on the season.

3 Out Of 4 Equals 9 -- 3 Sacks by Seattle's Patrick Kerney in 3 out of his last 4 games, versus Bears, Rams and Cards, giving the relentless pass rusher a league-leading 13.5 on the season.

4 More Can Play This Game Too -- 100-yard games last week by four undrafted free agent running backs: Packers' Ryan Grant (156 yards), Broncos' Selvin Young (156), Steelers' Willie Parker (124), Bills' Fred Jackson (115).

13 Is Quite Enough, Thank You -- Games into season Falcons coach Bobby Petrino quits to become Arkansas University's new coach-in-waiting.

Fine 15 -- Catches by Cowboys TE Jason Witten in 28-27 win over Lions, breaking Cowboys single-game record of 13 held by WR Lance Rentzel, tying most catches ever by tight end (Mike Ditka, Kellen Winslow Sr.), while setting a career high for yards (138).

Keen 17 -- Straight games with TD pass for Tony Romo, breaking Troy Aikman's franchise record.

The Number of the Counting Shall Be 23 -- Months in jail to be served by disgraced ex-Falcons QB Michael Vick on dog-fighting charges.

27 Somehow Sounds Right -- Opening line by which Patriots are favored over visiting New York Jets this week, a spread usually reserved for historic college mismatches like Oklahoma versus Yeshiva or Miami University versus Wilfred Beauty Academy.

35 No Jive -- Cowboy record for completions set by Romo, in 44 attempts, versus Lions, breaking Aikman's 34 set in 1997.

Scoring Double
7:29 -- Time remaining in regulation of Chargers-Titans game when LaDainian Tomlinson scores on 7-yard TD pass to cut Titans lead to 7 points.

7:29 -- Time remaining in overtime when LaDainian Tomlinson scores on 16-yard TD run to give Chargers 23-17 win.

9:24 Sure Doesn't Buy What it Used to -- Pittsburgh edge in time of possession over New England in Steelers 31-13 loss to Patriots.

18 Seconds Over Motown -- Duration of game Dallas led over Detroit in 28-27 win, thanks to Jason Witten's very late 16-yard TD catch, with the Cowboys overcoming deficits of 10-0, 20-7 and 27-14 to pull out their 12th victory.

Down The Home Stretch

Week 13 -- the official three-quarter pole of the Pro Football season, the League Where They Play ... For Pay!

The Washington Redskins intentionally started yesterday's game against the Bills with just 10 men on defense for the first play from scrimmage, leaving Sean Taylor's safety spot vacant in honor of their fallen teammate. Buffalo, however, didn't get the memo of the Skins' plans and ran for 22 yards on 1st down. I'm quite sure that under similar circumstances, Bill Belichick would have called for a play-action pass or flea-flicker in Taylor's "direction"...

Troy Aikman spent most of the Bears-Giants broadcast doling out one excuse after another for Eli Manning's poor play lately, at one point claiming "There's just a lot of things going against a QB having success on this team." At another point he proclaimed that there's nobody on that Giants offense opposing defenses have to fear or game-plan for. Pure BS from Aikman, who's become quite the shill for New York teams recently.

I hate the New York Football Giants as much as any man alive, but c'mon: on offense they have a very solid offensive line, a top-5 tight end in Jeremy Shockey, and two above-average wideouts in Toomer and Burress. Their running game, despite injuries to starter Brandon Jacobs, is second in the NFC behind only Minnesota, which features rookie sensation and the NFL's leading rusher, Adrian Peterson. Most QBs will tell you that a strong rushing attack is a key asset to the passing game, but apparently Boy Troy has taken one too many concussions, or perhaps all that makeup he applies before telecasts has affected his analysis...

Or maybe it's just a Fox Sports mandate that calls for a positive spin on poor Opie -- I mean Eli -- Manning's struggles, because just two weeks ago there was Terrible Tony Siragusa assuring viewers that Eli will bring a championship to the Meadowlands, in fact he flat out guaranteed it. Of course, Terrible Tony might have been referring to Eli being allowed to take big brother Peyton's Lombardi Trophy to the Giants locker room on show & tell day...

Yesterday Siragusa showed off his fine University of Pittsburgh education during the Philly-Seattle game, yet again interrupting the flow of the broadcast from his spot on the sidelines with his opinion that now was a "pristine" time for the Eagles to blitz. It would be embarrassing except that NFL game telecasts have become so atrocious that fans are probably inured against such mediocrity and the non-stop flow of mind-numbingly dumb commercials, in-game network promotions, and irrelevant graphics and statistics. It's amazing how much viewers have to sit through and suffer just to watch some actual game action -- that is, when the networks aren't coming back late from a commercial and missing plays. Disgraceful...
The Bears' Devin Hester once again was involved in the biggest play of the game -- but this time it was the catch he didn't make that was most important in deciding the outcome. The sublimely talented return king and former defensive back, increasingly being worked into the Bears offense this season, was wide open, a good 5 yards behind the nearest defender when he dropped a sure TD pass from Rex Grossman that would have put Chicago up 14-0. Instead the perfectly thrown ball bounced off Hester's shoulder pad and thudded harmlessly to the ground, changing the entire dynamic of the contest.

Hester was so visibly shaken from letting his teammates down that you knew he would try to make up for his gaffe later on, but the Giants kickers masterfully kept it away from him all game or pinned him hard against the sideline. Soon the Giants would tie it at 7, and although the Bears would eventually take a 16-7 lead, the prospect of a one-sided Bears game never materialized. That play, along with an overturned obvious non-catch in the end zone by Amani Toomer, swung the game in favor of the wobbling Giants...

But the best touchdown catch of the day award goes to a defensive player, Kansas City's Jared Allen, who made a sensational diving grab for a score in the Chiefs' loss to San Diego. In addition to scoring on the rare tackle-eligible play, the criminally underrated Allen also added 2 sacks and now leads the league with 11 1/2, despite missing two games at the start of the season...

Cowboys LB Greg Ellis' 2 sacks in the Packers game gives him a career high 10 1/2 with four games remaining, despite missing the first 3 games coming back from last year's season-ending knee surgery and being slowly worked back into the rotation. Nobody on Dallas can be enjoying their 11-1 start more than Ellis, a #1 pick back in 1998 who has endured all the down days with Dallas, including back-to-back-to-back 5-11 seasons from 2001-2003...

Jags QB David Garrard finally threw his first pick of 2007 after 231 attempts in the loss to the Colts, although it came on a batted ball at the line of scrimmage. Looks like Jack Del Rio made the right call before the season in going with Garrard over the erratic Byron Leftwich...

QB Vince Young may have had his best passing day as a pro in Tennessee's 28-20 win over Houston, completing 21 of 31 for 248 yards and 2 scores and ending a 3-game Titans skid. In fact, just when many "experts" were wondering if he would ever be a capable pocket passer, the 2nd-year Young has put together a string of four quality starts, hitting 90 of his 144 attempts for 1,056 yards...

Dallas QB Tony Romo's 4 TDs in the 37-27 win over Green Bay gives him 33 on the year for a new team record, shattering Danny White's former mark of 29 with four games to go. Romo is on pace for something like the 5th most TDs in NFL history. He led Dallas to scoring drives on their opening 5 possessions in the 1st half, setting the tone. Cowboy fans must be wondering if this is all a dream when you consider Romo still only has 22 starts under his belt; his record in those startsa sterling 17-5. In the Cowboys' 6-game winning streak following the New England loss, Romo has had 6 straight games with a QB rating above 100.

Tampa Bay, easily the NFL's most unknown, underrated team, improved to 8-4 with its 27-23 road win in New Orleans that all but clinched the NFC South crown, despite playing with backup QB Luke McCown. Let's just say McCown played a whole lot better than anyone outside his immediate family could have expected in completing his first 15 passes and going 29/37 for 313 yards and 2 touchdowns. Starting his first game since 2004 and only the 5th of his career, McCown's only real blemish on the day was a pick-6 returned 53 yards by the Saints' Mike McKenzie. WR Joey Galloway, quietly having a monster year, benefited most from McCown's strong arm, hauling in 7 passes for 159 yards.
Despite the Bucs outgaining the Saints 466-246, the game still might have gone New Orleans' way were it not for a ridiculous play call by Sean Payton with his team at midfield late in the game. Last year's consensus NFC coaching "genius" sent in an ill-advised gadget play dubbed the "Superdome Special" -- a pitchout off a reverse to Reggie Bush which was fumbled and recovered by Tampa Bay to seal the game. Even Mad Mike Martz isn't that doggone reckless!

You can assume that particular play will be eliminated from the Saints playbook with extreme prejudice. Afterward, a disconsolate Payton called it "the worst job I've done as head coach since we've been here" in one of the day's biggest post-game understatements.

Meanwhile, Tampa Bay has a real chance to go 12-4 given their remaining schedule -- games against NFL "powerhouses" Houston, Atlanta, San Fran and Carolina. These teams not only have a combined 16-32 record on the season, but their composite point differential -- a key barometer of a team's strength -- is an astounding minus 303 points. Just for kicks, remember that New England's point differential is plus 257 (442 points scored, 185 surrendered) -- 110 more than the next-best team, Dallas (395 PF, 248 PA) -- heading into tonight's game against Baltimore. Don't think this is lost on the oddsmakers, who have installed the Pats as 20-point road favorites against the Ravens.

I haven't wagered on an NFL game with an actual bookie since around the 1996 season, when I picked three nickel (5 times) losers one Sunday afternoon and dropped 75 bucks. Decided to quit while I was behind. However, I would take the 20 points in this case and hope the Ravens can come close to duplicating the blitz-happy Eagles' defensive blueprint from last Sunday night's 31-28 game -- the closest anyone's come to handing New England their first defeat of 2007.

Final deep thought: What if the NFL schedule-makers had switched the weeks New England, which faces the entire NFC East in 2007, played the Giants and Cowboys? Instead of the 5-0 Pats playing the 5-0 Cowboys in Week 6, would we have been anticipating two undefeated teams facing each other the last game of the season instead of Pats-Giants the final week?