Zach Back In Texas

ESPN is reporting that the Cowboys have signed ex-Dolphins LB Zach Thomas to an incentive-laden one-year contract. This looks like a great move for Dallas. Thomas, released by Miami last week, could play the same disruptive role in the 3-4 defense that Junior Seau played for the Patriots the last coupla years. In fact, according to ESPN, Thomas chose the Cowboys over similar offers from New England and New Orleans.

I thought ILB was somewhat of a weak spot for the Cowboys defense last season. That's why I wanted Dallas to pick up Jonathan Vilma. Everyone knew Vilma wasn't gonna return to the Jets next year after David Harris played so well filling in for him last season, and sure enough in the same update that I heard the Thomas-to-Dallas news, ESPN just said Vilma was given permission by the Jets to seek a trade.

Zack Thomas, the former Texas Tech star, is a better fit for the Cowboys. He's an inspirational, gutsy, overachieving player -- and that kind of stuff rubs off on the rest of the team. Thomas is still only 34 years old (Seau just turned 39!), so as long as the concussion trouble doesn't resurface next year, he's got at least 2-3 years left in the tank.

It looks like Dallas will now release Akin Ayodele, who started for them the last few seasons but never really distinguished himself. That gives Dallas a starting linebacker corps of Thomas and Bradie James in the middle, with DeMarcus Ware on one side and either Greg Ellis or Anthony Spencer on the other. That's pretty damn good. You can definitely win with that crew.

At least the Cowboys are making moves, trying to improve. That's all you can ask for as a fan. And Zach Thomas over Akin Ayodele should be an upgrade...hands down, hands up, whichever way you wanna wave 'em. Let's coach 'em up and send 'em out there to hit someone wearing the other jersey!

Shooting From The Dick

(with no apologies to Mike Lupica)

Our research indicates that putting the word dick in the title of a blog post increases readership by up to 75%, which in our case means an additional 3 readers...

"Resolve not to be poor: whatever you have, spend less."
-- Samuel Johnson, 1709-84

So I see where Mitt Romney finally gave up the chase, throwing his considerable heft behind frontrunner John McCain. In fact, Romney pledged all his delegates would now vote for McCain at the Republican convention. All six of them.
Now that Romney has dropped out of the presidential race, the five fighting Romney Boys can sign up with the U.S. military for the fight against Islamo-Fascism that Candidate Mitt has been beating the war drums for -- after all, the Romney Sons are no longer busy campaigning for the old man. I guess as long as it's other dads' kids doing the fighting in the latest war to save civilization, no need to get their hands dirty. Or bloody. Or blown off. Wouldn't make for very good photo ops at the next family volleyball game. George Bush Sr. also is officially supporting McCain. About eight years too late to save not only the country but the rest of the planet from the ruinous consequences of his own deranged scion, I'm afraid.

Saw where Obama visited Edwards at his North Carolina house over the weekend. Gee, I wonder who John Edwards is gonna endorse. He has a better chance of supporting Mike Huckabee than Hillary at this point.

With Edwards, my original choice, out now, I'm going for Barrack Obama. I think Obama would win in a landslide over McCain, but if Hillary was the candidate, given she has more baggage than Samsonite, it would be a much closer face-off once the full weight of the right wing echo machine is brought to bear down on Clinton.

The only way the Democrats were gonna lose this thing is by beating themselves. Hillary is a virtual blueprint for the Republicans; without her they stood no chance going into the fall. McCain is really Bob Dole with a newer war story. The difference is in '96 Clinton had yet to be tainted by scandal, whereas in '08, there's a lot of film on Mrs. Clinton, if you will -- with most if not all of it negative to millions of potential voters...

"I've got great respect for Sen. McCain, great respect, but I don't like the way Republicans have taken this country. Every time I hear the word 'conservative,' it makes me sick to my stomach, because they're really just fake Christians, as I call them. That's all they are.

I think they want to be judge and jury. Like, I'm for gay marriage. It's none of my business if gay people want to get married. I'm pro-choice. And I think these Christians, first of all, they're not supposed to judge other people. But they're the most hypocritical judge of people we have in the country. And it bugs the hell out of me. They act like they're Christians. They're not forgiving at all."
-- Charles Barkley, 1963-present

Dallas Mavericks getting a motivated Jason Kidd back in mega-trade with New Jersey has to give them a leg up in getting out of the Western Conference once the playoffs start.

One weird offshoot of the trade sends one-time Net Keith Van Horn back to New Jersey. Who knew he was still in the league? Turns out he wasn't. He was retired but evidently not officially.

Now, I'm not making this up -- and why would I -- but I had a dream the other night, maybe last night, where Van Horn went into the stands and beat the hell out of a guy who was heckling him. Actually, the fan was right under the basket with his young kid, and after a string of obscenities hurled at Van Horn, he just lost it and hit the guy with a bunch of punches. I don't know what to make of the dream, just glad there were no sexual overtones in it. But probably not nearly as glad as you all are.

Rented three terrific movies over the last week or so: Art School Confidential, Waitress and Interview ... all kinda indie movies of fairly recent vintage, each unique in its own way, and highly recommended. In fact, I watched Art School twice before returning it, although the second time was over Bob & Holly's apartment.

When I picked up Art School I didn't even know it was directed by Terry Zwigoff, who it turns out directed two of my all-time favorite films: Crumb and Ghost World. Now add this to that panetheon, because it's that good.

Waitress was directed by the late Adrienne Shelley, who was murdered in her own NYC apartment last year. It stars her as well as Cheryl Hines, Keri Russell and Andy Griffith, the tale of a smalltown diner and some characters who intersect there. Man, I gotta tell you I lost it at the end there, not only because of the story itself, which is quite moving, but just knowing that this was the last film Shelley would be in. If you are not feeling a little kerplect there at the end, I almost feel sorry for your lack of sentimentality, which apparently is quite fashionable these days. In the end, you might say Waitress is kind of what a Lifetime Original Movie would be like if was directed by someone like Hal Hartley.

Interview is really just that: the story of a jaded journalist forced to interview a young Lindsay Lohan-type celebutard. Steve Buscemi directs and plays the journalist, with Sienna Miller quite good as the self-involved starlet. But conventions and preconceptions are turned on their head and then back again, as is the definition of voyeurism. I really dug the way this film effectively opened up a whole world as it played out in real time. It's stupid to rate movies in my opinion, but let's just say I didn't want the movie to end when it did, and would've been happy with another hour or so of Buscemi and Miller going at it.

More Pearls of Wisdom from Sir Charles:
"They've got what we call 'fuck-you' money. Stephon Marbury makes $20 million a year ... so he'll always do things his way."

The Longest Year

And then there was none -- as in no more football games this year -- and a whole long year to wait before thankfully some other team (any other team, please!) besides the Jersey Giants will be called Champions. Now, you would have to buy into the notion that the Pro Bowl is an actual football game. That is a real stretch, I know...

I watched a total of about 20 minutes of the game -- forgot it was on or I would have watched a lot more. After all, I am a pro football fanatic and a Dallas Cowboys diehard. And there were a total of 13 Cowboys participating in the Pro Bowl.

The 20 minutes I caught was not the 20 minutes during which Tony Romo threw his 2 touchdowns or T.O. caught his 2. But they were keeping score, and it's always better to play well and win a game than to play badly and lose.

So the Cowboys go into the offseason not with a lot of question marks personnel-wise, but more along the lines of character, chemistry and coaching. I don't have the answers any more than they do, because any team other than the Giants will have something to prove next year ... starting with the formerly perfect Patriots, then progressing down in terms of heartbreaking disappointing exit from the postseason through to Green Bay, Indy, Dallas, San Diego.

Dallas has two #1 picks in the upcoming draft, so that's something to live for as a fan. We made some coaching changes also, something most 13-3 teams don't go through, but Bill Parcells saw fit to raid our staff after taking over the 1-15 Dolphins. So the Cowboys lost their offensive line coach, linebackers coach, etc., as well as head of scouting and a few other execs.

But after the shakeout, I think the changes were for the better, especially getting Hudson Houck back to coach this talented offensive line. Dave Campo also returns to the fold to mold the secondary, which itself could have a few new parts despite sending three players to Hawaii. Both those elements are among the most important areas of a football team. If you're solid and well-coached there, you're gonna be competitive; and the reverse is also painfully true, especially in the NFC East, which proved itself the League's most balanced division once again.

One thing that lifted my spirits ever so slightly following this debacle of an NFL season, whereby the top-seeded Pokes were oh-so-unceremoniously bounced out of the playoffs in the first round once again, was Giants DE Mike Strahan declaring that it was the Cowboys, not the Pats, who were the best team he faced this year. I don't think he would say if it wasn't true, because obviously after 15 years in the league battling the 'Boys, there can't be any love lost there.

That the Cowboys are talented is not in question. Parcells did leave them in pretty good shape personnel wise. He had his share of bad draft picks, everyone does, but he has to get a lot of credit for assembling most of those 13 All Star-quality players.
What is very much in question is their mindset as a team, their collective mental outlook heading into next season -- especially Tony Romo, the player who the rest of the team feeds off. If they can use this year's playoff ouster at the hands of the hated Giants as motivational fodder, then that Pats-like chip on their shoulder might even elevate their level of play demonstrated in building their 12-1 start in 2007. As my old high school English teacher Sy Syna used to repeatedly intone, We Shall See What We Shall See. How can you argue with logic like that?

Down To This

Funny how politics and sports intersect, with Super Bowl Sunday and Super Primary Tuesday so close to each other, and the fate of winners & losers and has-beens & also-rans at stake.

And in elections and football alike, you go first with who you love, then who you like, until finally there's no one left who fits that description and so you go against that which you hate for as long as it takes until there's no one left to root for.

In politics this week, both the guy I hated most of all, Rudy Giuliani, and the candidate I was hoping would win, John Edwards, were forced to drop out on the same day. So now you're left with Clinton versus Obama on one side, and McCain against Romney on the other. That's it. Basically a year to go and the Final Four is set.

In football, the team that gave me so many highs this year, the Cowboys, were bounced out three weeks ago against the Rudy Giuliani of NFL teams, the Giants, who then, proving that we indeed live in the worst of all possible worlds, shot right into the Super Bowl. Waiting for them, however, are not just any football team, but the Tammany Hall of sports teams, the New England Patriots, led by Bill "Boss Hoody" Belichick. New England is ready to dot the 'i' on another championship season, their 4th in 7 years -- this one a perfect landslide of a campaign: 19-0 if they can beat the Jersey Giants this afternoon. But even perfection in this case is not necessarily unblemished, as rumors of corruption in the form of extra-legal shenanigans on the Patriots' part refuse to die -- stoked most recently by none other than Mr. Single Bullet Theory himself:

"A senior Republican senator says he wants the NFL to explain why it destroyed evidence of the New England Patriots cheating scandal.

"I am very concerned about the underlying facts on the taping, the reasons for the judgment on the limited penalties and, most of all, on the inexplicable destruction of the tapes," said Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., in a Thursday letter to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

Back to the game at hand, it would not, repeat not, shock me if the Giants win. That's the kind of crazy year it's been. The Patriots have not blown the doors off a team in a long while, Randy Moss has been dormant so far in the postseason, and their defense can be scored on. Add to it a loose Giants team that doesn't make mistakes, has proven it can run the ball and make big plays in the passing game, with a loose, blitz-happy defense that has made its mark in their 3 playoff games. Of course, the team that doesn't turn the ball over, commit costly penalties or give up the big play has a much better chance of emerging victorious. At least that's what the experts are saying this year.
That said, the one number that jumps out when looking at both teams' 2007 seasons is this: the Pats outscored their opponents by an astounding 335 points, while the Giants squeaked by with a net gain of just +39, with a schedule that included some of the worst teams in football: Dolphins, Niners, Falcons, Jets. With two weeks off, I also think you will see a Pats team that resembles the earlier part of the season, the one that flat out dominated teams through the first 8 or 9 weeks, while the Giants best asset was the momentum it had built up while racking up road wins in Tampa Bay, Dallas and Green Bay. The two weeks off will have the opposite effect on them, and combined with a conservative offensive game plan, the Patriots have an excellent chance of roaring out to a sizable early lead -- something on the order of 21-3 or 28-7.

My final score, given that Super Bowls are rarely defensive struggles, at least on the scoreboard, is 48-20. Lawrence Maroney is the surprise MVP, with 3 TDs and 154 yards rushing. I would have loved for my team to even get the chance to be on the wrong side of a rout, but for some unknowable reason the football gods were not smiling down through the Whole in the Roof, and so Dallas came up 21-17 losers against the Giants. Next year everyone starts 0-0 again, and it's anyone's guess who will or won't be back to the Big Show.